My Spiritual Life part one Leading to My City of Angels

This is the first post of a new series of a new blog I started today called, Finding the Sacred in the Ordinary. It probably looks familiar to you if you have studied any form of Buddhism at any point in  your life.

This blog was my brainchild after a series of events lead me to question the existence of angels, there place in the Divine and finally to question whether I was in fact or are we all some sort or type of angel?

I blogged about angels and my role as perhaps a Warrior Angel and then later it was corrected by a friend who has their own ideas of angels as they termed me as well as my daughter Royal Angels.

I realized yesterday, over a week after my initial posts on my main blog Maniacal Musings, and receiving lots of questions, and information back from readers that I needed a new blog with a new angle of my daily living separate from my mania and anorexia that was fed from my soul into the Divine in my life as it is every day.

I wanted to jump right into Angles but realized much ground work was needed on my part to create the landscape from which I write upon from my life’s study of religion and Buddhism and the inquires I had developed over this idea of Angels and do they exist in the Divine and are they in the ordinary, and lastly am I a participant in this Divine schematic I am conjuring up at least in my head?

I aimlessly thought I could delve into some Divinity research done by various scholars on the topic of angels and write from there as my starting point. I went through my university’s library to its online scholarly research section and typed in #Angels #Do they exist # what kinds. I believed it wasn’t much more deeper than that. I was delivered to my search results and proudly and ignorantly printed off a couple of basic all-around articles and took them with me to digest while at my daughter’s volleyball game, and then came home and finished the articles as I was realizing quite rapidly my approach to what I wanted to share and know started well before my questions of Angels and had to do with me, and my already established spirituality that was the impetus for my questions to begin with.

So in the most circuitous and cumbersome trajectories I realized this conversation of angels was premature until I as the writer wrote and discussed how did I ever with my own spiritual self end up at these rather new concepts for myself and my beliefs thus far in my forty years of living and yes partly praying and mostly believing to some sort of degree in a God that is greater than I and the entirety of the Universe we all live in and as a result although not in my conscience purview is the acceptance of Evil, and the darkness of the Devil I personally have not ever given credence to in my life.

So I thought as I finished reading my research articles last night how do I get to there when well I have travelled a long journey to get to my Christian-Buddhist beliefs as a newly minted forty year old? I completely put the horse before the cart and ignorantly thought I could approach this level, my personal beliefs aside, when it is the exact opposite; I need to do as a writer to eventually arrive at my Angels I want to discuss in great detail.

So before I can think about angels my choices were to start at the very beginning of my spiritual journey in this life or secondly and more wisely I could begin the conversation right here, where I am today in my spirituality with a bit of relevant history to keep the baseline of my questioning on a solid foundation upon where I might leap as I have with some rather big conceptual questions and queries to my already solid yet obviously underdeveloped spiritual beliefs.

As most of you will now me from my other blogs, I write a few blogs on blogger. My main blog is Maniacal Musings and is of the memoir genre with op-ed pieces of writing, and there are a few other blogs one called Scattered which is my daily journey with living with pure mania, and Dysorder which is my personal blog on blogger for my story with my battle with the insidious disease of Anorexia.

Here where we are,  is called Finding the Sacred in the Ordinary and will be the home of my spirituality and my questions that have only recently arisen and made me ponder my schematic of what I believe is the Divine and moreover what I believe Grace is all about in my purview of my Christian-Buddhist intersection.

I suppose if I have decided to start where I am to get to my queries about Angels I would need to explain briefly how I got to my Christian-Buddhist home in my schematic of the Divine.

It started when I was born and baptized as a Roman Catholic and I accepted as a child the Roman Catholic ideals of the Holy Trinity to include worshiping the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. I was not a questioner until I got to college. I started with a religion that was bestowed upon me, and whether through bliss or ignorance I do not know I accepted my religion and the caveats it bestowed upon my young and unknowing soul. I believed in God as the Father, and Jesus as the Son of Man, and lastly of the Holy Spirit, or moreover the doer of God and God’s will. I followed the ten commandments without question, and in a childlike way believed in the binary concepts of heaven and hell. I made my first communion as a child in the Roman Catholic church and was a devout prayer of sorts every morning and evening to the God I believed was housed in the Heavens above. Never did I question, and oddly enough never in all my religious education through the eighth grade did I ever read the Holy Bible in its entirety.

Upon entering eighth grade, I was summons by the priest of our church at the time about being confirmed for life as a member of the Roman Catholic Church. Much to my own surprise as it was a great shock and disappointment to the leaders of my congregation as well as my parents, I boldly stated and felt out of great respect for my mother religion, that I at 14 could not ever make such a lifetime commitment to the Church. I  refused as politely but as determined as one can be, not to be confirmed until I was old enough to make such an everlasting commitment to my Faith.

That is when my beliefs were still steadfast but the rules of my religion showed the first hints of their restriction on me and my soul as I saw it between the ages of 14 and 19. I will leave us here, where it is safe, and respectful. Never do I, regardless of my beliefs today, want to show anything of any disregard to God or the Holy Trinity in any form it should manifest. I will post a new piece on my journey from Roman Catholic, which I would sadly leave behind for the rest of my life and the tunnel of inquiry I made through my introduction into Buddhism and my deep practice as a practicing Buddhist living in the New York City and making pilgrimages to Nepal to Buddhist monasteries

This feels really right and I sit here without thinking beyond this moment what a gift for my fortieth birthday to reflect and stretch my spiritual wings and expose my soul like never before.