It’s been a week yesterday, since I had my knee surgery done. When I was done in recovery, I got wheeled down to the front door of the hospital. Waiting for me, was my ex-mother-in-law, a wonderful lady we call Tutu. I got right out of the wheel chair and walked without pain, or any crutches right to the car and I hopped right inside. Tutu asked me, “How did it go?” Because I had an epidural, I wasn’t all dazed and confused, and told her I felt very optimistic. Especially walking out with all that they had done in the lengthy surgery. We got to my house, which is a flight of stairs for every level, which leaves me with at least two sets to climb, because I don’t HAVE to go the third level, although much of my stuff is up there. I climbed the first set of stairs, and felt no pain or aggravation in my leg. Tutu said, “Are you going to be okay?” I told her, I expect Stephanie by five, and thank you so much, I greatly appreciate the ride home.”
Tutu was off and I was home with Julia Bleu and my pain medicine. I wasn’t in pain at all, and walked on my leg all day. I kept icing it as they said, and looked at my post-op instructions. They said to use crutches, but I didn’t need them, so I left my pair way down on the landing inside my front door. Stephanie got home, after 5:30, and my leg was getting stiff and sore. I hadn’t taken any pain medication, so she got me a drink with something to eat, and I took a pain pill to dull the edge. Later as the night wore on, it got to the point where I couldn’t put my foot down on the ground. I still had a casted arm, and so Stephanie went and brought me one crutch. I was perplexed at the sudden change in my mobility.
I went to bed, and my leg was killing me. I took some more pain medication. I don’t remember much about the night except that I awoke in bone shearing pain in the early morning. I mentioned to Stephanie that in all my operations I had never had a problem with pain. I took these pills, which were the same ones I always took, however this time they were not working for me with this surgery. I called the doctor, and explained everything to him. Knowing me like he does, he sent in a prescription for something stronger, but it was the first tip of my not so great ice-berg.
I got the new pain pills but was still perplexed, why my knee hurt so much more than every did before the surgery. Worries of tiny droplets beading on my frow, could it be possible that the surgeon did too much to my knee? I kept that immense worry to close to my heart, I didn’t want anybody to say A THING about it. I really did need to run at least one last time with my Bella. It doesn’t seem like much but at 39 to not be able to run with your child…..seemed to me to be a bit more than I wanted to digest at the moment. As anyone who knows me, I put everything to the “test.” Not friendships, but material things and my own body for that matter. I began trying to move my knee through the pain, I was afraid I had heard a big ‘click” once I had tried to bend it. Sure enough, as I tried to bend my knee it locked up, I pressed on it further and there was the “click.” Not what I was looking for by a mile at the least, I didn’t have such a click before the surgery.
So everyday I try to do more and more, but I stay away from the motion that causes my knee to freeze right in mid-motion. “How is feeling, Corey?’ ” people have so kindly asked. “Are you thinking you will be ready for Market Square Day?” I put on my brave face and smile, as only I do, “It is not about Market Square Day Race its about road racing again. I am in healing better than I was, not needing but pain pills only at night, so I will take that as a good sign and see the doctor in 8 days.” “Go gettem Corey, do you think you can still beat Bella?” “I think if I race with my mind I still might have a shot at least one more time.!” “That is awesome it is crazy to watch you two go at it.” “Yes I know my time is limited so I must take full advantage.” Oh I wish I felt different than my feelings deep inside. They are not sending me the good vibes I need.
Tomorrow I go to the gym, and get on a treadmill with care. Going to stretch it just a bit fa
rther and see if I can keep my stride from that “click.” Nobody but Stephanie will know this is a Corey test, I can’t deal with the questions, even though everyone is so well meaning. Time to go to take out my Mizunos and wear them to the soup kitchen. I need to break them in just a bit before I wear them for the big test tomorrow. Please let me have a spin on that damn treadmill without nary a “click.” I promise I will stop all more testing until the 20th when I see the surgeon and figure out my game plan.
BORN THIS WAY-2016