I Am a Rock

When it comes to living and being in this world, I am a Rock.

You can take it any way you want it will probably work.

When it comes to my personality being a Rock manifests itself in a couple of really strong ways.

First, personally being a Rock I have steadfast determination and belief in myself that very rarely gets tested. This weekend with my unexpected derailment from Adderall I experienced my loss of being , thinking, and living like the usual Rock I am. I did not keep my blogging commitment which I made in May and haven’t missed a day of writing until this dreadful past weekend. I also questioned my entire life and who the fuck I was as a result of this derailment. I experienced awful anxiety about things I would never worry about for a second. I learned that my being a Rock is a Divine gift of sorts. Without it this past weekend I entered some space in life I never want to visit again. It completely sucked, I knew what was happening, but I couldn’t stop the derailment of my strong mind. It collapsed under the weight of Adderall withdrawal and it was scary as fuck.

Second guessing myself, doing evil revisionist history on the last months of my life, and looking bleakly forward with a bit of hopelessness I think adds up to a medicinal very short-lived bout of depressive thoughts which I have never experienced in my life. I never want to experience that, whatever it was again. I as a Rock, am always full steam ahead, I got my plans and goals, I hit my targets on the marks, and life although not always easy by any stretch of my tight jeans goes fluidly. This weekend as my body realized a chemical dependence, my mind experience a broke down mountain moment, that is still washing itself slowly out of my system. I realize you don’t mess with your head or your mind will punish you severely. Being a Rock, today I am so much better than this weekend but every once in awhile a thought like I had never had before will creep in and make me question, think, and yes worry. I am not a worry I am a warrior.

As a friend, my being a Rock is a gift I believe that I offer a handful of people in my Universe. I as a friend, am as loyal and steady, and forgiving as you will ever find. I was never a good friend until I got into my 30s. I pride myself in my friendship I offer to someone and like I said it is a small group of family and friends that get me, and whatever they need, when they need it, without excuses or apology.

My best friend besides Stephanie my fiancé is my friend Carole. We have had each other’s backs since fourth grade. No word of a lie. She has dug me out and I have dusted her off. We don’t speak often but when we do it is straight to the soul conversation and we have never ever fought or been estranged from one another. Wherever either of us is in the world we know if one of us ‘rings the bell” the other WILL BE THERE NO MATTER WHAT.

I think most people don’t value friendship the way I do. I pride myself in being stable, constant and always there when needed. It isn’t often that I am called upon as my friends and family fortunately all pretty much have their shit together, but when I do get called I will not let you down if you are my friend.

I let those I consider my friends know who they are and what they have in me. Being a natural Rock it comes with ease to be there for my loved ones. It is no sweat off my eyebrow to make a friendship commitment to someone I love, and care about.

So this Rock was shaken up this weekend. I never realized what a gift my strength of my essence was….people have told me so many times “You are the strongest person I know.” I never really believed it but after a weekend of losing my footing and not being capable of being a Rock, I am now a believer and I feel so bad for people who don’t KNOW and aren’t sure. Ugh, that is a hard way to live.

I pray as the last of this vile mental and physical disturbance passes out of my system my Rock as I know and feel and live it, returns 100 percent. Still not quite there as I question without surety at times. I pray to my God it fully passes very soon.



The Smell of Possibility

The title is from a meme I came across on Pinterest that really grabbed me. It has a picture of a woman holding a cup of coffee-but that isn’t what I gleaned from the phrase.

I think about my maniac’s hours every morning and the coffee I go get with my dog Julia Bleu and the Adderall I take with it before I start my time to create and produce things.

I realize it is the idea or concept, or better yet the hope of possibility each morning that is truly the golden elixir. It isn’t the mixture of the coffee and Adderall I take.

What a revelation! Something so simple, yet so precious and unpredictable powers me through the morning’s early dark hours to write or program for school or for a blog.

Although the campaign is a huge part of my life I don’t waste my maniac’s hours and golden elixir on it. It is saved for that which matters most. In saying that I guess my maniac’s hours are all about writing if it is possible with school requirements wrangling for my precious hours of possibility.

I have written and blogged since May every day with the exception of this past weekend. This weekend was an extraordinary time of new enlightenment and pure hell as I stumbled through a mistaken Adderall withdrawal. Writing and blogging everyday for myself as it was the first day I blogged, to a few readers, and now to ever-growing numbers of readers has been a labor of love and a true test of humility and unyielding desire to get better as a writer.

I look back at my first blogs and I grimace and cringe, but damn it I stuck with it and put my name on every crappy, shitty post I wrote.

In the blogging world there is endless possibility. From one post to the next, from my subject, to my key search words, it is all up to my readers.

I may be rewarded with 100s to thousands of views, or I may work my ass off way past the maniac’s hours and think I have produced something worthy, and later find out it only captured a couple hundred readers.

In those moments I have an impulse to get to my readers and say “Hey you missed a really good post.” However, that is not possible and a lot of times it might get skipped over until new readers come and read the entire blog and that makes more readers read my less read posts that are usually my best.

The thing about views or readers, and the possibilities is something a little disheartening to me at this point of my very new and immature blogging: I get the most reads right now with the best titles and search words.

It is a major bummer. I pray for the day where my writing is read nonetheless because I have built a reputation as a true writer. My readers know as well as I do that right now my writing is hit or miss. Some days I know I have written crap, but it wasn’t for lack of effort, and on those days signing my name and hitting publish is so painful.

So my mornings are not anything that I have blogged about since May. Oh it is about the golden elixir it is just the golden elixir turned out not to be something I ingest but something I aspire and hope for every morning I sit at my desk and begin typing what I want to share with my readers in that very moment.

Sometimes there is hardly effort needed as the writing just flows, and like all writers I have more moments where I am at a loss for a subject, or I grab a topic and I can’t wrap my mind around how to convey my thoughts.

Today is fun. Today is exciting. I learned it is possibility that propels me forward each morning. I remembered about what possibility means as it is endless and limitless and knowing I have this chance for that opportunity every morning is fucking crazy epic! Yeah I got this day today. I haven’t had the “day” in a few days since my derailment but today is my bitch. Make it yours.



Big Day Ahead!

As most of you know I have been working for the Clinton Campaign all summer.

Last week I was invited of course to the new Clinton office that opened in my home town. Unfortunately I had plans and couldn’t make it.

The grand-opening was on Saturday so my goal was to get there by Monday. Well I didn’t get there during the day, but after going out for dinner we went in search of the office.

I had memorized the address and knew it couldn’t be far from my place. It is actually not just the Clinton office but the main office for all the Democrats running in 2016.

We were able to find the office easily as it is right around the corner from my place. No more than a five minute walk. Bella and I went in around 8:30 pm last night and I introduced myself to the local staff as I am part of national.

I have been looking forward to this office opening as I have been working decentralized and I miss the camaraderie of like-minded excited people for Hillary.

I am also nervous about the office being so close to me and it being open from 9 am to 9 pm. I know me and I know I will get sucked in completely. Being decentralized I haven’t had that wave of electricity that just explodes when you put supporters and campaigners together.

I have an option to change positions for the last part of the campaign. It is a promotion of sorts but I think I am going to stay with my current role in digital/virtual phone banking. I have really gotten into it have all the equipment and software programs and I am my own boss to a certain degree and that would be lost if I changed positions. I don’t want that to happen obviously.

I am sitting here looking at little Julia Bleu and I feel so bad for her. I will be gone a lot from the house and working decentralized I have been home even more so than I was when I was in school.

I think I am going to try to split my time between the office and home. I can be working for the campaign and doing other things at home like school work as at the office it is 100 percent Clinton all the time.

As I write I think I will try to go to the office between 9-10 and stay to 2-3 pm. That gives me enough face time in the office and allows me to not leave Julia Bleu or Stephanie for 12 hour days.

I am nervous about the campaign. More bad news and the polls are tightening. I have my strong doubts that average Americans are ready for a female president. I want and will do everything I can to see Hillary get into the White House but in talking to people yesterday, the Don doesn’t have to do much right to be neck and neck with Clinton and she has run a stellar campaign.

I don’t know if her email situation and WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange can really wreck havoc on Clinton’s campaign and I don’t know with the Don if he can keep up his good boy act to get into the White House.

Everyday as you yourself watch the news or read it on the internet it is a seesaw with some new “bombshell” every other day.

Today is a big first day for me. I start powering it up and on and going into high no-stop gear for the campaign with the office opened down the street.

I am excited as I know I will meet interesting people who share the same goals and values. I hope I have the right stuff and add value to the campaign. I haven’t felt on top of my game for awhile and I think a large part of it was being decentralized. Of course we use on-line communities and everyone is part of a virtual team. I am part of many so that is fun.

Looking forward today with a nervous stomach as I engage 100 percent now and give everything I have to seeing Clinton become the next president of the United States.



Land of Confusion and Yes Hate

Today I spent a good part of the day talking to average Americans across this country who had a lot to say about people like you and I. I don’t know you perhaps but we share commonality being of the LGBT community. You needn’t be of LGBT persuasion to share commonality as we are graced by the love and support of hundreds of thousands of allies from all parts of this country.

I am in a funny place now. I am about to get engaged to a women in 2016 and get married legally. I did the same in 2000 except the wedding wasn’t legal although we made sure it was. In 2000 we were so loud, happy, and proud. We decided to share my last name to make us even that much more of a family to the straight world.

I had no fears and spoke outwardly and constantly about my fiancé and are wedding plans. We went as far as to have a wedding coordinator and it just so happened we ended up using all straight vendors although it would have been great not to have.

Now on the cusp of getting engaged and even sharing a bed at night in 2016 I don’t feel safe. I don’t feel accepted and what I do feel is loathing, and I feel hatred.

Today I heard what hatred sounds like….boy it has many faces and voices and I know I only got to hear a small percentage.

What happened to us and to our rights and freedoms. I am finding out that passing laws doesn’t do a damn bit of good, and through in the right mixture of hatemongering from the religious right and Trump and you have a nation in the midst of not feeling it when it comes to equality including safety for all LGBT people.

It isn’t a Trump Clinton thing-sure maybe there were things that incited bigger flames already smoldering that we were so happy to have marriage equality passed by SCOTUS on June 27, 2016 we let our guards rightly down and we celebrated, we loved, we cried, but we took a breather from the “FIGHT.”

I am a writer, and I chose my words most of the time intentionally. I chose “Fight” because that is what is going on in our country just below the radar so even our gaydar is shit out of luck.

We are not wanted by many. They are angry and think this should be a war. I was either hiding under a rock or more likely enjoying the spoils of the liberal Northeast.

I didn’t see it coming and damn it I am afraid now. I feared nothing until 9/11. Then all of our worlds came crashing down and our freedom from fear was destroyed in seconds. I got used to fearing terrorism, but surely I wasn’t fearful of anything domestically grown.

Today I sit here and I tell you this crazy kick-assed person I am is scared. I am ashamed of my fear. Embarrassed. But there are real reasons I am scared and this engagement in 2016, my true dream come true is quieter and I am careful not to post our pictures. Too much information exists about me. We spend every night together but still have two places. I recently went out and spent thousands on a high tech alarm system to protect us. What the hell is wrong with me? I never worried or cared, never not me. Hell yeah, I am frightened! Have you heard the distain in their voices? I have. Have you seen them look at other members of our beloved LGBTQ community because they dare and are proud to be more visible than me and my friends? Am I being honest in what I just said? NO. I do dress a certain way we all have our own unique styles and I am no different. However, I make sure not to get to close to the edge. You know the edge I am talking about. Like a Saturday morning walk and I reach for my favorite prep school baseball hat and oh opt not to wear it……finding myself doing a lot of that. Not to the point of being less than authentic but not feeling free to be me.

What does our flag and constitution stand for? That’s right, freedoms for each and everyone of us. I don’t feel free to be me in 2016. My heart is heavy, my fists are clenched, and I am braced for something I never thought would happen here in the United States. A land of the free where people who don’t comply are threatened, bullied, pushed out of bathrooms, beaten, and even brutally killed for just being “their me.” Could you ever imagine really bathroom gate like it has gone down? I mean honestly think back a couple years ago; bathroom gate was nowhere in sight.

We, the LGBTQ community and all its allies, had the upper hand and momentum at the time. I mentioned I was married in 2000 at 23. We made a baby and brought our daughter into this world in 2002. We worried about the world and it being safe-in regards to 9/11, not home-grown based hate that only the most provocative and outrageous LGBTQ members faced and dealt with. Yes, I shamefully admit “we fit in” intentionally. We were no different in any way from any straight family in our community, except oh yeah we were two women. Nobody cared, for gosh sakes it was the IN thing. Be LGBTQ or be friends with them, right?

So what happened? I think it is so complicated we might be better not to go there and move collectively into a new revolution where we know #LOVE TRUMPS HATE. We have had such an unravelling of our community, and I haven’t even mentioned Orlando! What the hell was that? No really what was it? Was it Muslim extremists or was it domestic hate? We don’t know! Not knowing is the worst possible case. In speaking to people I was surprised at how combative and willing to fight and show their “real” politically incorrect feelings people were willing to share.

I don’t feel the love outside my Universe I created, and I know most other LGBT members feel the same way. We can get laws passed, like marriage equality, and push for much needed further equality laws for the transgender people, but what good is a freaking law if I can’t hold my fiancé’s hand without worry, or fright? The laws will come. I have no doubts there. But true freedom and tolerance? Sorry, we are a country that grows further from that with every stride forward we take.

I have always been grateful, but could never understand what earlier generations of LGBTQ members did to push our rights forward. I will never understand what they endured, suffered, and lost, for people like you and I to come out without nary a twitch, get married, have a baby, and play house. I never understood their anger at me and my choices. My less then optimum contributions to the “CAUSE.” I get it now, yes I really do. We must all dig deep, come out of our Universes, our comfort zones, our beloved ghettos, and be visible, and damn it be brave.

We can’t let this just “happen” to us. We must muster up and package LOVE into its own weapon against hate. For if we don’t gather ourselves together, we are going to have hollow laws and closets that are filled up again. I see my tiny steps towards the closet. I am ashamed, but I do not want to die. Well neither did all the LGBTQ people who have already died for us want to be killed for loving another person. I realized yesterday, I am letting the fear and hate win and diminish me.

We must do better than I have. We can not be diminished. We must as I vow now be visible and dare to hold our lover’s hand in public. I don’t want to live a half assed life, and right now I am doing just that. I am digging and struggling with the fear and the hate I see and hear and know I am not a fighter by nature. Many of us aren’t. I aim to make peace. Well to get to peace, freedom, and safety we need to arm ourselves with LOVE and fight the fight that stands in front of us.

These are hard times. They are only going to get worse if we do nothing. We must do something. We can not bicker amongst ourselves right now. There is an enemy and it is real.



I Hit The Wall This Weekend

As many of you know I suffer from a rare form of pure mania. It is very challenging and there are no specific medications for it.

There is Adderall and a variety of other stimulants to quell the symptoms but nothing to take it away.

I forgot to call my Adderall refill in last Thursday which I have never not done or missed and spent the entire weekend off Adderall with crazy mania and also Adderall withdrawal symptoms.

I am not a big drug person and withdrawal from Adderall is not something I have ever experienced.

It was the single most dreadful experience of my life and I couldn’t get anyone to prescribe it because of my condition.

Saturday and Sunday I was out of this world train spotting with hell’s angels. I was so sick. I was hungry but couldn’t eat. If I did eat I hurled up my entire stomach and part of its lining every time.

So picture me up and down unable to focus, hold a conversation, be on the computer, blog, nothing and be physically ill with withdrawal symptoms.

I don’t know how poor Stephanie survived me Saturday or Sunday. I fucking ran straight head into a concrete wall, and my wheels kept spinning still after

Sleep? What is that? And feeling so sick, a terrible headache and nothing to make me feel better, stone awake watching the clock for hours……….

I didn’t tell anyone except Stephanie what was happening. Even talking to her was spotty. I will never fucking laugh about this. Me who finds dark humor in EVERYTHING at this moment can not find or think of one funny thing about missing my Adderall.

It truly surprised me how dependent I am to it I missed my first dose during the maniac’s hours early Saturday and mid-day out with Bella I began to feel the pall coming over me and my engines rev with turbo on and with two broken legs there wasn’t even a physical outlet for my gone wrong energy.

I wouldn’t wish what I just endured on my worst enemy-I am not that mean. I can’t imagine a real withdrawal from a drug. I googled Adderall withdrawal and it was nothing like a benzo or alcohol withdrawal.

It mentioned might last for up to 5 days and listed side effects of which I experienced all of them. I looked up withdrawal to other medications and some were life threatening and had terrible side effects lasting forever. The Adderall withdrawal was written like NBFD! I thought this will stink I wont have my medication but no big fucking deal I will never try any drug I could ever get hooked on now that I am an Adderall junkie I guess it is safe to say.

I only take that which is prescribed and lots of days I miss doses and this weekend of pure hell is what I went through still!

I am really bummed to find out I am a junkie of sorts a licensed prescribed junkie of a street drug (amphetamine). I see my doctor on the 13th of September and I will be bringing this up. I know who much I need it but I believe PTSD can now get added to my diagnoses list after this hellacious weekend.

If I wasn’t puking it was pouring out the other end. Hey I am going to be real here. If you take Adderall for ADHD or recreation BEWARE!

I want to know what my options are…..if I have any…..

Yesterday, Sunday, was completely a shitstorm but I knew the prescription would get called in today.

What I didn’t know was if they would call the script in at the end of the day? I had no idea nothing like this has ever happened to me before. I promise you it never will again!

There is a God especially for junkie’s my script was ready for pick up at 10 am at the pharmacy. Stephanie took me and I could barely keep from running and opening the bottle right there in front of the pharmacist and popping one. I was never so quick cashing out didn’t need paperwork, receipt or bag.

I got to the car and I could not get a tablet into myself fast enough. Being a newbie to withdrawal I had no idea what to expect after taking the pill.

From a psychosomatic or placebo effect just ingesting the dirty pill made my veins feel better. However I would say it came on slowly the recovery that is and now at this moment I am freaking juiced up probably at maximum therapeutic range and I am in heaven.

Honestly I am in heaven and I do thank God my God, your God, all Gods, for the gift of this orange bottle filled with majikal pink pills that are my best friend and my fucking worst enemy starring in a night terror.

I am back. I was leveled…..I always say I want to experience everything once so okay maybe with a slight smirk I am happy I experienced a weekend of Adderall withdrawals. Honestly I can’t feed anybody reading this that line of bullshit. I am not okay with the withdrawals I survived it…it was a minor incident compared to the real junkie warriors. Man do I have new found respect for all of you! Keeping real and keeping it real and keeping it simple today!




Ever since I awoke at 7:30 am this morning I feel like I have been wandering.

It has opened up a lot of cans of worms and I wasn’t planning on doing any fishing. Seems as though yesterday’s orthopedist appointment which was an appointment between here and there and after what has transpired wasn’t really necessary. I have been asking myself a lot of questions, spinning my wheels in circles, and greatly afraid I have lost my purpose and sense of direction.

I woke up this morning as a result of my injuries and decided I needed to be back in school for the fall and work the Clinton campaign around it. I called the registrar’s office and confirmed courses I wanted to take were available and I then started going sideways. Things weren’t working out 100 percent with returning to school and all my injuries and needed operations and physical therapy.

I got everything in place money wise and just couldn’t commit to another semester bogged down by physical ailments. I opted hollowly to stay the course and stay out of school one more semester while I take care of my body and I hopefully work as a fellow now for the Clinton campaign.

I am all nerved up. I don’t feel my confident self and a lot of things are happening and time is passing and I am not hitting goal marks like I desired. If I went to school full-time this semester and the next two semesters I would be in a position for a job in the field I want by the end of next summer.

I am obviously missing that mark and all the marks in between staying out of school without a real possibility of going this semester because of my physical ailments. I have caught myself looking at pictures from 15 and 20 years ago when I actually felt like I had the world at my fingertips and now I wonder can I get my finger tips on something big, something ground moving, something that speaks of Corey Britton and what I did in the past so very long ago?

I am not an idiot I realize not going back to school takes away hopes and dreams that if I had returned this semester would have still been alive by the very nature of moving forward with school. I am thinking that I might enroll in a couple of late start courses that are only 12 weeks in duration and it buys me another month. I can get one surgery done then and concentrate on physical therapy but this Corey Britton is in definite need of a new revitalized vision board of my dreams.

What is so hard is the feeling as I get ready to turn forty in a month or so, that my life, my larger than life life is out of my league now. I am embarrassed to write this, leveled to feel it, but I am a rainmaker I do lots of things and opportunity has always found me. Why am I not so sure? I am at multiple cross roads for starters.

A lot of my success comes from or is derived from money. I have had this unreasonable goal for about eight years that got me back to school as a way of getting as close as possible I thought to this financial goal. It is lofty to say the least and maybe if I didn’t have mania it wouldn’t be so grandiose but I have wanted it, I have dreamed of it, thought of life with it in hand. I saw the life in this one picture I wanted to obtain.

There are lots of ways to this goal, luck for gosh sakes could be one of them but there are other options available to keep Corey Britton in the game. I think as all I want to do is go to sleep and escape this is that my first part of my answer comes from what I fettered out here this afternoon-getting into school for late start courses.

I think that is key as for the last two years being a high level student has been my identity. I need it I crave it. So I will go to school just later than the start of the semester next week. That is a relief and I couldn’t wrap my mind around anything that didn’t involve going back to school this fall. So there Corey, you will be a thriving student again just 4 weeks later than planned and it makes the most sense with my needed surgeries.

I need to figure out my next phase of my life. It is striking me that it is clearly upon me and I don’t have things all figured out down to the T like the perfectionist-control freak I am. I think about lost opportunities and I am dwelling on things I can’t change. Life is and I am and together I need to continue to live and write my story. The problem is, I thought I knew the kick ass next chapter and I don’t.

I will give it up to the Universe today and if I could I would go to the store and buy a lottery ticket. I don’t know why my ultimate success after raising my daughter and any other children I might have is wrapped itself in money. I am money based. No I don’t have any financial hardship just the opposite and I feel the need, I feel compelled to attain a level that few get to no matter what they do.

I don’t deal with reality very well so let’s let that one go and focus on creating opportunities for myself for growth and wealth. Sounds so shallow but it is how I am wired. I need back into the game I walked away from and I have no idea really how to get back there.

I think for today I am calling it and feel blessed that I decided to go to school for late start. My dreams are shaky but they are still alive.

Now I am going to write in my journal and focus on what my vision board is going to look like. Stephanie is a dream come true and life isn’t that bad but today and yesterday have been leveling.

I will get the paper tomorrow for the vision board. Go to school next week to see about late start classes and get myself going with getting my body back to well. With anorexia still lingering and multiple broken bones I haven’t had a chance to get confident and get a game face back on.

I am grateful for this moment to write and to feel the discomfort I have been harboring inside of myself. It is time to get real, stop the pity party, and make the best I can with whatever I got, I get, or I create. That will all follow in the days ahead. I leave not a wander but a wonderer this afternoon.



The Don Just Needs To Keep on Talking-Clinton is Worst Own Enemy

Yesterday the Don did an about face on immigration especially when it comes to the Obama administration.

Unlike before when the Don repeatedly promised to deport over 10,000,000 illegal immigrants the Don know says strict laws like those being followed by the Obama administration need to be continued and will be under his presidency.

Gone is the hard line rhetoric and divisiveness of the primary election for the Don. The Don is learning in a presidential election you need to appeal as more of a centrist. He hasn’t at all reached out to the Latino population on issues of immigration or anything else of that nature.

Basically he is treated the African Americans the same way. He isn’t dealing with them and has only 8 percent of their national support. What is it about the Don. He intentionally opted to ride to victory on white middle-class men and now with his pull back on almost every issue he stands to lose the voter base he had and not gain anyone with his shifts in attitudes.

Anyone dumb enough to believe the Don who has had a week free of chaos is changing is in for a real rude fuck up the ass awakening come the day after the election when the Don returns to his old self. There is no way the Don is presidential in nature in anybody’s books and to try to foul the American people now with all the antics he has played out is pure ludicrous.

The Don is always mentioning Clinton’s ties to the Street and her speaking engagement fees his corporations are in debt to these very institutions for over 650 million dollars. Who needs the street more the Don or Clinton? The Don has repeatedly said he doesn’t need the Street’s money that is bullshit he isn’t sunk because of it for gosh sakes.

Yesterday the Don hit pretty low and very inaccurately by calling Clinton a bigot. The Don stated the only thing Clinton sees in color is votes which I find in itself a very racist comment. As stated by MSN.com Clinton said, “He is taking a hate movement mainstream,” she told CNN’s Anderson Cooper in a phone interview. He who hates women, all minorities, especially Muslims, and women, and makes fun of disabled people. He is one to really talk. He has said if we can believe anything he has said to be true he will revoke the marriage equality law passed a year ago June 27th, 2015 by SCOTUS. He has no time or energy or even worse care for the LGBT community. I think it is a joke gone bad that the Don called Clinton a bigot.

Speaking of Clinton she must be bracing herself. Julian Assange, founder of WikiLeaks is set to unleash personal and private files having to do with Clinton’s campaign. His organization hacked the DNC for this information and I don’t care what is in it I don’t think any proper news organization should use WikiLeaks information in their coverage of a candidate. As a college student I am not allowed to cite WikiLeaks in any formal academic paper. Newspapers and news casts should not be allowed be to take WikiLeaks criminalized information and use it in their reporting. Julian Assange has a personal vendetta against Clinton and is using means of hacking DNC databases and servers to produce criminalized private information. It is not okay and he as well as the news agencies using his information need to be held accountable to the highest courts. This already happened at the DNC convention and caused quite a stir up in the leadership during the first couple of days.

Clinton is holding steady with a solid 9-11 point lead in the polls nationally.

Don’t look for the Don to release his tax returns anytime ever really. He has said all along while under an audit he would not release his returns. There are no laws that prevent him from doing so, in fact when Nixon was running he was under an audit and released his tax returns just the same. The Don’s campaign manager has been behind the Don to release his tax returns that was until this past weekend. Now she agrees he should not release his returns. What is it that the Don might not want the public to see. That he is worth only 3 billion 6 billion short of his own estimate, that he doesn’t pay taxes because taxes in real estate are tricky with depreciation etc.? Is it that he doesn’t give to charities? What would make the Don not release his records? One person’s answer was that as a business man which is how the Don views himself and probably will after January 17th, 2017 he doesn’t want to give his competitors access to his personal wealth. Okay, so maybe that is the reason, but every presidential candidate should have to release their tax records. His 650 million dollars in corporate debt is staggering and the Don makes no bones that he makes his money heavily using debt.

When it comes to Clinton her recent released emails their is no favors found in the emails of her being Secretary of State and the Clinton Foundation just maybe access to her. There is a big difference but most people advising Clinton are telling her to put out the Clinton Foundation and lay it in moth balls. Not a good idea and too risky a proposition.

There lastly appears to be some conspiracy theory on Clinton’s health being spun by none other than Rudy who has always wanted a dog fight with Clinton and Trump playing second man on the questioning of Clinton’s health. Pretty desperate accusations to make about a thriving candidate.

Stay tuned for a follow up to the ALT-Right theory Clinton is going to unveil today on Trump and his campaign leaders. It is damaging and dangerous thoughts for our country to have to consider. I will let Clinton speak to it before commenting.

For the last word I will give it to the head of the RNC who is pleased as punch with the Don’s week of using teleprompters and staying on message. I loosely quote him, “Give Trump to Labor at the latest to catch up to Clinton in the polls.” Okay one week of normal behavior we all know is a guise is somehow going to change the polls? The only person who can hurt Clinton is Clinton with whatever is hanging out there about her emails……..



Predictability The Good and the Not So Good-Does Anyone Really Care?

Predictability is important when dealing with the grown up world and raising children to some extent.

I am both a predictable and an unpredictable person. I am predictable because very really will I be predictable and you can count on that.

I wake up everyday at different hours but then follow a fairly predicable regime of going to the store with my pug Julia Bleu and making our one of a kind same as every day cup of coffee. Predictable.

Then when I get home from the store I take my prescribed Adderall and drink my golden elixir. Every day except the time is predictable up into this point.

Depending whether I am in school which I am not right now I blog for two sites hopefully by 8am. My topics range from ongoing story lines like anorexia to off the wall stuff like today’s predictability.

I am predictable in that I devote between 4 and 6 hours of writing every morning during this semi-fluid time space and share the moment with my pug, Julia Bleu.

I write or I research the entire time I have set aside for blogging in this case. If I were in school it would be devoted solely to my biggest and hardest projects I had going on at school regardless of what other work I needed to complete for assignments due that day. Those sacred hours only exist between 12:30-6 am every day of the week and are when I am by far the most productive and most creative. My hyper-focused senses are crazy during this time.

At some point during this time, Julia Bleu catches my attention enough at least once to get me out of my chair and go feed and give her water. That is the only time I am not writing or researching. No I don’t read other blogs then, and I never do reading for school during that period. It is known as the maniac’s hours as I am a suffer of pure mania.

After 6 am everything is up for grabs. At least one blog needs to get posted before I move so that happens as rough as it can get. After the blog or blogs are posted I try to do crazy-assed cleaning up of my place, including no dishes left in sink, bed made, and no dirty clothes on the floor.

If I don’t have school I will walk the pug and come back to my second blog of the morning. Blogging and school haven’t happened together so there will be some cutting back-only getting one blog posted in the morning. Usually I need until 10 am to polish the second blog and maybe take a spin around Facebook.

With school I will be doing my crazy cleaning and then getting ready to take the bus to campus. If I have reading and a response to do I will get hyper-focused on the bus and try no matter how many pages to get them all read before the bus stops at school. I don’t generally take a class before 10 am so to the working library I head with all my gadgets and gizomos to settle down into course work mode. Usually this is writing and then responding to other people’s writing and involves research and is pretty dreadful honestly. I am guaranteed two days a week of that.

Now that I am not in school because of the Clinton campaign and my two semester commitment I work on the campaign loosely, blog more, Facebook it- really not make good use of my time until after lunch. If I am in school I attend classes pretty much all day as I set up class and non class days. This system really helps me although the class days can be killers.

Right now when I am not in school the Clinton campaign work fits around my priorities. After lunch if I am not in school is time to read blogs, answer comments, and blog one final post hopefully by 7 pm. I am doing a lot during that time the campaign, blogging, correspondence, reading, and a host of my ever lasting to-do list. If I am in school I get home around 4:30 pm and I immediately play with Julia Bleu. She gets my hands down attention. I realize she has had a long day at home. I feed her, walk her, take her to the store all before I grab my requisite yogurt and applesauce and Corey’s Chronicles start up. Yes this is my super amped up intense life. If I am in school I am going to be working on a programming assignment or project for commuter science. When I am not in school I read and research more, develop topics for tomorrow’s blogs and keep the ongoing story lines I have going alive and not forgotten.

I believe once I am back in school Corey’s Chronicles will be for both programming and a second blog I really need to write twice a day. Hasn’t happened yet so we shall see.

My fiancé Stephanie comes over every night and depending on the day and schedule I might have my Phenom, my daughter Bella as well over night. When Bella is here or I am with her anywhere she is top priority no matter what. I probably have missed one time with her because of the campaign and it was critical.

I am spontaneous so everything I just wrote can go flying out the window but my goals will get done regardless of time and logical thinking and behavior.



The Don On Wednesday Morning August 24th, 2016

A quick survey of stories involving the Don jumped from the pages of major news sources this early Wednesday morning.

Starting with the dismal appeal of the Don to the African American voter across the country. Since May the Don has held between 6-8 percent of the country’s black vote. For a demographic that usually votes predominately Democratic the numbers still staggering low. In swing states like Pennsylvania the Don hold’s 1 percent of the African American vote. In the past the Republicans have tried to make headways with the African Americans to swing states like Georgia to the Republicans and stave off a run away from a swing state like Pennsylvania. Polling numbers for White Supremacist, David Duke are higher than Trump’s numbers.

The Don met with a group of over 100 black pastors in June hoping to get them to go spread the Trump message. The love fest didn’t happen although the Don confirms there was a lot of love in that room that day. It isn’t the case for the Don in the real polling world. Following his presumptive re-election bid in 2020 the Don has said he will capture 95 % of the African American vote. Where the Don is spinning this shit is beyond me.

Speaking of spinning shit seems like that is what is happening to the rental rates at Trump Towers where the Don isn’t only the owner but the renter for his campaign headquarters. In July of 2015 the rent was around 26,000 until August where it was bumped up to over 35,000 until the end of May 2016, when it increased to over 70,000 Then in June 2016 when the Don added an additional floor and a half of campaign space his rents are now well above 170,000 and he is only donating a set 2 million a month to his own campaign compared with before when he paid for almost everything. Clinton’s rent is higher, although she is not paying herself. She also has over 700 paid staffers compared to the Don’s 100 paid staffers. Funny how rents and donations change just like that! Trump has spent over 600,000 dollars to rent out other Trump facilities for activities and reimbursed his airline over 450,000 dollars at the same time.

Lastly there is the Don’s wavering positions from immigration to foreign policy and everything in between. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar has said that Trump stands for absolutely nothing! He has no solid platform upon which to build his candidacy. When it comes specifically to immigration it seems as though the Don has softened and in doing so is not wanting to spread the word. There is still talk of a wall (maybe) but carefully crafted words (not a phrase used to preface the Don) have him talking about now the legal immigrants who are here and need to be protected so forget about the 10,000,000 deportations that were set to go into place on his first day in office.

I don’t make this stuff up, I don’t fluff it up, and I don’t incite. I merely write on what has been made public knowledge and accepted as truth by the Don himself. Whether he agrees with cancelling two rallies later in the week add up to him avoiding immigration well we can debate that. He isn’t missing the fundraiser the night before in Colorado. That is a fact!



Mon Carlin Julia Bleu Conçu Pour Moi


My pug Julia Bleu was no doubt destined for me.

We picked her out as pick of the litter at just two days old

A twin of one only other black, of that which we required along with being a female

She was perfectly desired.

I spent every week until she was old enough visiting her every Saturday

Now she is home, she lives with me, she eats and sleeps with me.

This pug is not just a another dog, she is my best friend tried and true.

When people met the two of us they  comment on how we were designed to be two

Without her my world would collapse I would no longer go on the same

For nothing that is designed for you can ever be replaced nor will it always remain.


Designed for You