Maniacal Musings: Pondering Trump, -isms, Parents Vote for the Unthinkable

Late yesterday afternoon we arrived back from Miami……

It was surreal to be in Little Havana with the death of Castro and the upcoming president elect Trump. I mean are there similarities? My guess or my thought with Trump and his cabinet is there are similarities and we need to take a hard look at. One of Trump’s cabinet members the general I believe Flynn who stated that there are all kinds of “isms” and that Muslimism is real and needs to be dealt with and what he essentially was saying is that all Muslims will be pooled together under an umbrella and treated a certain way that Trump and his cabinet will determine how exactly these Muslims should and how they will be treated.

As I write this I am arguing with my father about Trump, the popular vote that is now skewed by over two million votes, and we have no idea if Russia was involved with any sort of hacking of our American right to cast a vote for our favored presidential candidate. My father is obviously a generation and a half older and I am now sure he voted for Trump. I mentioned Trump’s draining the swamp right into the White House and my father got all blusterly and said show him a document that his rationale was that Trump wasn’t even president yet.

As harsh as it is, I made a decision that if my parents voted for Trump, I would morally have to withdrawn myself and my daughter from my parent’s surroundings. Putting Rebublican and Democrat aside, Trump has said negative things and promised negative implications for almost all minorities and his worst act was his making fun of a disabled reporter.

I wonder to myself and to all of you why Trump is so upset about the recount being conducted by Jill Stein and supported by Hilllary Clinton. Clinton is supporting it as it is due protocol for other candidates to watch the recount process and make sure that in effect the process is conducted with due process and has sent a representative lawyer to oversee the recount.

Moving on, today I am reminded how different constitutionally I am from my parents and I am grateful our visit is coming to a close tomorrow as we make our way to Orlando for a night in a suite before we leave early Wednesday morning.

I love my parents and it probably isn’t too different from others and their relationship with their parents, but as I tend to push the limits and boundaries on most things I think my parents and I are probably a little more estranged than most people.

Over a week together and we are ready to get the hell out of here as once you speak out of turn to my father it is all over. He will now go silent and be moody as a typical old man would do when someone rebuffs his claims without warrants.

Today Stephanie and I went to the beach where it is like 80 degrees and went sea beaning without any luck. We are on our way out for awhile with my mom who is going to help us find a canister for the print we bought in Miami yesterday.

I am dealing with Mania Madness and don’t have the Adderall I need as my prescription runs out early before I get home and Adderall can’t be transferred out of state. So I am short and that doesn’t help anything with the fire in my head and flowing through my body.

We have had a great vacation and we are excited to get home and pick up Julia Bleu on Wednesday morning. I so miss my pug, and I know she is going to be over the moon happy to see me, and Stephanie too.

Stephanie is off the rest of the week and then doesn’t have a day off until Christmas Eve and of course the weekends. She will be very busy and we will be getting engaged and planning to move in together at some point in the near future.

I don’t think it is sore loser syndrome for HRC to follow Stein’s inquiry of the recount and coupled with Trump’s reaction this weekend on Twitter with his crazy tweets I wonder what he is upset about. In his defense, since the recount came a couple weeks after the election and he probably didn’t expect this recount from Stein-think it caught him off guard. I hope for the country’s security sake there is no funny business realized with the American voting process.

This afternoon we are heading out with my mom to go shopping and as I mentioned earlier get a canister for the print we bought in Miami. Hopefully we will go to this place Della’s that is an ice cream store that makes these strawberry and cream floats that are out of this world. It is must have today before we get to Orlando tomorrow.

I am going to blog about my conversation on Catholicism with my parents and how they see it as the superior religion. Didn’t need to have read the Bible for that inane conversation.

I should write the top 20 inane conversations that took place with my parents this vacation concerning politics and me protesting at the Inauguration and participating inn the million women march the next day.

Lots to write about and need to get down to the water for sunset on the river.



Success-Lost Not Yet Found

Success. I had it once. All of it.

The trophy wife, the houses, the cars, the cash, the baby, the contentment of I got a job I did very well, and of course sheer happiness.

I lost it all. In bits and pieces. Then in one crash. Speedsplatt.

I don’t remember the apex of success. I remember the losses I felt, as one by one they got peeled away.

I have spent years thinking, dreaming, envisioning the losses I never felt possible.  I spent years in the fog, as everything I was, everything I created including myself, unraveled and slipped through my fingers like the sand in a kid’s fingers digging on the beach.

I know. I really know there is a comeback for me. I have my doubters, I have my believers. Corey can’t be kept down. Laying on my back is not my style; neither is playing dead or being raped of my soul and my persona..

Through the fog I find me; I found myself. However truly bruised and beaten. I am still breathing and still moving-most importantly in forward motion.

I was caught in a rip tide, I couldn’t find my way to the surface. However, after three long minutes I caught a gasp of air. I had popped up and went immediately back under.

I lost my way. I created all that people aspire to, all without meaning of course. I learned that money was not so important. My soul which got completely lost in the mayhem of success, I didn’t even know it existed. At the end of my success it appeared I was changed forever.

I do care about success, and I will still get there. Everyone knows it even the doubters.

It is a matter of time, a matter of space and place.

I wonder and I wonder. What if? What would I be like if I hadn’t a hint of a clue. I am still lost. I haven’t found what I am seeking; what I am searching for.

I know that it exists, which is more than I knew.

Mind-altering experiences are truly my life blood.

Coming back to earth, feet grounded, a job that pays a lot of money, and gives others reason to look at me as their wonder kid.

I will do it; it is my destiny. But it isn’t what makes me internally successful.



Maniacal Musings: Sunday Morning Pondering in Miami

Watching sweet Stephanie sleep. WE had an awesome and amazing time out in Little Havana last night and then did the club scene. We are not club people unless we are in NYC and then I don’t sleep and I go to bed at like 8 am on Sunday morning. This wasn’t quite that crazy but we met a lot of cool people and the fashion was out of this world. I was instantly reminded why i love the city so much.

Stephanie looked fabulous in her little black dress, with only one shoulder strap. I picked it out for her when we were in NYC the last time. I was every Euro-trash in mono-chromatic grey with slacks and a shirt with french cuffs. I also wore a Rolodex (platinum) and my Lokai clear bracelet that Bella bought me. I am totally into the Lokai brand and symbolism and i have their limited edition ocean bracelet and their water bracelet. I have seen them on so many famous people it is kind of crazy. It is a phenomena that started and spread like wildfire.  I also wore my shoes I got in Rome that are a slip on but not too clunky. As always I had my chain with my platinum cross and my sterling silver medallion with the Our Father inscribed in Latin. Stephanie wore bare legs, kick-ass shoes we got in the City and on the arm that was sleeveless she wore a sterling silver cuff around her wrist. She was one of the best fashion statements of the night!Our outfits, jewelry, and shoes really complimented each other. WE had our picture taken so many times but Stephanie is shy about posting on Facebook. Hopefully she will overcome that and I can start posting pictures soon.

Today we will make our way back to Melbourne for some time on the beach and maybe dinner out with my parents. We are ready to come home-not go back to real life but be home together with the pug, Julia Bleu who is going to be crazier than a loon when we pick her up!

We fly home at like 6:15 am in the morning and we have to get the pug by noon or pay an extra day. Between doggy daycare and kennel costs she has racked up quite the bill at the dog place.

I can’t imagine what the ride home is going to look like with Julia Bleu! Crazy pug!

Breakfast is here and looks so fabulous! Stephanie is still asleep, I have the ring to get engaged and I feel this would be a perfect moment but I have to respect her wishes to go it closer to home.

It is a shame this is super perfect.

I will wake her up at 10 am for breakfast we have a 1:30 pm check out. So I am sure there will be some U-Me time, LOL!!

I want the world and my readers to know just how special Stephanie is to me. I have dated a ton of beautiful great girls, models, playboy centerfolds, Maxim cover girls, but nobody comes close to Stephanie is starting to stir so that means  I am wanted in bed! I am such a cuddle bug and so is Stephanie. I am going to finish this post as i haven’t posted as much as i planned on doing while in Melbourne Beach. Stephanie  just went back to sleep so I am fine for a little while.

I think it is really funny how I put it out to the Universe that all I wanted was to find one sea hamburger and I found two and gave the extra one to my sister Lisa. So I have the one I found on my second day here. I actually found both of my sea hamburgers on the same day!

I am laughing to myself because I guess you get what you ask for!!

This morning we will have room service for breakfast since we have an ocean side view and do not to get dressed for breakfast. We might hit some stores at lunch but not sure as we have a long drive back and have to figure out dinner with my parents and tomorrow as we prepare  to head back to Orlando. I love the Orlando International airport where we are staying tomorrow night as there are many high end shops there and awesome spa services that after a week plus on the beach we could use.

I am going to order breakfast in the next bit and have it all here in the room when Stephanie wakes up. I think it will surprise her and make her happy.  I will ask for flowers to be added to the cart and get her her favorite lox and bagel with cream cheese. Fresh coffee and orange juice and eggs I think will make a great breakfast for the two of us.

I realized last night just how lucky I am to have Stephanie as my wife to be and my girl forever in a day! She is such a stunner and she is brilliant and does very well as a dentist in Portsmouth. I hope once we get married and start our family she will take a break from work, but it is all up to her.

I am going to continue working on my PhD as a full time student and we will get engaged and work on getting married although that is really up to Stephanie.

I want the world and my readers to know that i have dated beautiful great girls,. Some have been models, a few playboy centerfolds, and a couple Maxim cover girls, and none of them have a thing on my Stephanie. She thinks i am a catch, yes yesterday’s dinner, she is the real gem, and I just want to show her in all ways possible.

Time to go wake her up and get ready for a most romantic breakfast. We have candles and a packet of matches to light them. i am going to wake up my sweet love the only way i know how and have a romantic breakfast with her. Hopefully she will allow me to post a picture of us soon.



In Miami……

We are at the Marriott in downtown Miami and it s beautiful. Beautiful people, landscape, beautiful company. The food looks delicious too.

I have been thinking a lot about the space I took from Stephanie and why I did it and how I did it. I couldn’t be happier and neither could she as she thinks I had one last hump to get over to really settle down for life with her.

It was nothing about Stephanie in a way-she was by default the perfect girl for me and it scared me to death. The utter thought of another divorce is not something I would survive with Stephanie. My ex-wife was bad enough as it crushed my romantic  forever and a day, heart and soul.

I couldn’t bear to lose Stephanie for any reason, so when I had the opportunity to get deep into the Clinton Campaign i took it.

I missed her every day and thought about her every night when I went to sleep alone after spending every day and night with her

We are in such a different place now-we are a done deal and we are both really confident that we are meant to be forever and a day.

Stephanie is in the shower and it is all I can do to not join her-I would but we have to get going to make it to dinner reservations and hit the clubs for a rare late night out together.

As I am down in Florida, I am keenly aware of a year ago. At that time the junkie who had been in my life and tossed me on my head, contacted me out of the blue and it started a downward spiral nobody could predict for me. She came back from out of nowhere and cunningly wiggled her way back into my life.

Let’s just say this year is 200 percent different and better and I am with the person I am supposed to be with. This is true without compromise and her pain pills addiction with her benzo addiction. I was so naïve and knew nothing about junkies or addiction, and I guess I had sucker written all over my face.

However, that was last year, and this year is a whole new year with truth triumphant with the love of my life Stephanie.

I  was in love with Stephanie then and in denial and Stephanie was standing on the sidelines painfully watching me let my morals and values go down the drain with the junkie. Thankfully, the junkie lived up to her words that had no true meaning, and I booted her to the curb without nary a second glance. It set me back though, as I couldn’t believe that I had fallen for her crap and her illnesses and let my life get so close to her rabid person.

All that is in the past, but I won’t forget what the time with the junkie was like and how awful and unhealthy it was. Comparing Stephanie to the junkie is not even possible. Stephanie is a stellar, achingly beautiful and brilliant woman and the junkie belongs in a stall with filthy pigs high on pain pills. I hope I haven’t left any doubts on what the junkie put me through and what type of street urchin she truly is……..

Stephanie is out of the shower and looking fabulous and like a million dollars!  Gosh. I am so freaking lucky!

We are not the time to go out to clubs except in NYC, but Miami has the same energy and night life and we are getting all dressed up for a night on the town. I am already dressed and ready and just waited on my girl. This could take some time, as Stephanie is fastidious about getting ready to go out.

I am going to order vodka tonics from downstairs and get Stephanie some cheese and fruit.

She says she needs another 20 minutes which isn’t bad and I am actually going to go downstairs and get the drinks and cheese and fruit.

I leave our suite and head to one of the bars on the bottom of the hotel. I order the drinks and cheese but I am told I can not bring them up to the room. They have special staff who can only do it, so I charge the drinks and cheese to our room and head back up empty handed.

Stephanie is so surprised to see me that quickly and I explain to her that I couldn’t bring up the drinks.

She asks me to come see her and she plays with my hair and said, “We don’t have to go out tonight.” I was feeling the same way but knew we had to take advantage of being in little Havana for the evening. She is forlorn, and  don’t know what to do. There is a knock on the door and i know it is our drinks and Stephanie’s cheese.

I tip the service and I bring Stephanie her drink and cheese. We have a couple of toasts to being in Florida and putting this year and the junkie behind us. The drinks are perfect, Grey Goose and diet sprite and extra lime.

We get on the bed and Stephanie eats her cheese. She is so happy and so radiant. Neither one of us could be happier. It was a great idea to come down here and spend some time alone and away from my parents.

I got a call from Bella that they had arrived safely and were heading home.

I missed her very much and it was hard sometimes to give both Stephanie and Bella as much of me as they both wanted.

I told Stephanie she only had 10 minutes before we had to leave for our reservation. I got up and checked my tussled hair and touched up my bronzer. I am easy to get ready as I am very low maintenance.

We finished our drinks and Stephanie looked fabulous! We shared a long kiss and pried ourselves apart.

We grabbed our IDS and my black Amex and headed for the door. Stephanie, turned around before opening the door, grabbed my hand and said, “Corey Britton you are stuck with me for the rest of your life.” I kissed her deeply and we headed for the elevator as we headed out for a night in Miami.



In Florida Hand Needs Attention-Family Holiday After Five Years

We got up early this morning and took Bella to Cocoa Beach for a surfing lesson with the big guru in the area.

Today makes a week from my hand surgery and I need to change the bandage as it was to be changed at day 4-5 at the latest.

Stephanie and I have been having a blast and just got back from the beach. We were hoping to go sea beaning but the sun is too hot and we are exhausted.

My sister and family arrive tonight at 5 for a big family dinner. I hope I have the stamina to make it through. Bella will stay with me tonight again and tomorrow she will probably stay with my ex-wife.

I have to have my brother-in-law help me with my bandage as he is the only one who has the stomach for it. Stephanie is worried it has been so long over due but I think I have kept it quite clean and dry.

Thoughts of the pathology report for the tumor are running through my head and Stephanie’s. We are just really finding a wonderful groove but it is hard not to think about what if?

I am going to try to get Stephanie to relax with me as we just got back from the beach but we didn’t last long with the sun beating down and being so tired.

Stephanie is so happy to be with me and my family is happy to see her. I hope everything goes well with my sister and her family as it is always a little up in the air.

I haven’t seen her since my father’s death 5 years ago. Today is a big day for us, as I received the flag that covered my father’s coffin as part as his military funeral and I am giving it to my sister today as it means more to her along it means more to me in a different reason and for dreams that never happened. I didn’t have any stellar relationship with my father as it was awful but my sister had a good relationship with him and she loved him very much. I wish I could say the same. I am happy he is finally at peace and rest’s as his life on this earth was not peaceful or happy.

I haven’t seen my only sister in five years, and I hope we have a decent visit, as they are not staying at my parent’s house they are staying at a hotel.

I am sure that my hand will be okay under the bandage and everything is okay healing wise, as I am not usually a good or fast healer, so the extra time in the bandage probably helped.

My ADHD and Mania Madness is at full tilt and I need a break from all this stimulation as my brain is on fire and my body is following closely behind. I am not so sure of my Mania Madness and I pray I can have an early night tonight and relax with Stephanie and play on my phone and watch some very missed politics.

I am really tired and today is a really hard time and I pray with the help of God and the Holy Trinity that I can make it to a decent hour. My Mania Madness has been at its peak and I really have no more tricks to pull out of my bag done here. I did just take an extra Adderall that I was scheduled to take but didn’t plan on taking it. I did have to take it and I hope with something alcoholic at dinner I will be okay and my Mania Madness isn’t apparent to anyone else. My sister has always had issue with my Mania and I hope that this last Adderall makes the fire that is brilliantly burning in my head from a place I do not know. I am stuck in Florida until next Wednesday and can’t get to the pharmacy until the middle of next week. I will have to order scripts to my pharmacy close to my house before I get home so they are ready.

Oh gosh the ills of Mania Madness mixed with my sister’s visit where we haven’t seen each other in five long years.

I am feeling a bit better and upbeat and hopefully will play off my sister and her family’s visit. They will be tired and are basically coming for dinner before heading to their hotel. Tomorrow my parents are hosting a big brunch for my entire family at 10 am.

I am feeling a sharp pain in my finger and hand and pray all is okay or else I will need to go to the emergency room tonight. That wouldn’t go over well for sure.

I am hoping everyone is getting excited for the holiday and has plans to be with family and or friends.

I am thankful to be here in Florida with Stephanie and my family and my thoughts are all with my readers for this special holiday.

I will write in Maniacal Musings tonight about my visit and all that happened because surely something will definitely happen!



Maniacal Musings: Saturday Maniac Madness and Headed to Little Havana

I am now with Bella and I am finally happy! We are heading to see the manatees with my mother. I am excited as I have never seen a manatee before in person. It isn’t guaranteed that we will see any-where they are located is where they go when it is cold and it hasn’t been that cold really here since we arrived here.

I am not feeling well today and I hope the Mania Madness passes and my heart with the medication that we are going to pick up makes me feel better.

My ex-wife and my mother just took off in the golf cart to go see a new deck that this guy made from all the debris from the hurricane that hit here.

I am really struggling and hope I can stay out of the hospital while I am down here. It wouldn’t go over well with my parents and I would not feel safe in a Florida hospital.

I don’t know why the Mania Madness is so bad or what has changed to make it worse. I am going to hopefully get my medication soon and my heart will feel better at lest. I am struggling with my heart beat  and hopefully the medication will help it and slow it down.

Bella is so cute and excited to go see the  manatees and get going to the airport to head home. The trip is long and they won’t get in until tonight after 11 pm. At least they have tomorrow to regroup and get settled for the week.

My fire in my head is burning at a rapid like pace this morning and has been since I first awoke at 3 am this morning. I took some medication and it helped me sleep until 7:20 pm.

I am hoping that if I don’t feel well Stephanie and I can go the hospital in Miami. That way my parents don’t have to know about it and I would never let them admit me whatsoever.

I am trying to push through this and really hope with my heart medication I have been missing that getting that back into my system will quell the racing heart. I haven’t had a racing heart since before I went on the medicine.

I am going to go after the manatees and pick up my heart medication and I am trying to stay calm and stay focused on Bella and my last bit of time with her. She is over the moon excited about the manatees so I hope they are there for her.

I am going to take a walk on the beach after the manatees with Stephanie and look for sea beans. I am going to hopefully find one more for Stephanie as I gave my second and last one to my sister. I am going to really look hard as I haven’t been

We are headed to little Haven! Did Cuban here at lunch after my ex-wife and Bella left for the airport.

Heading to Miami now and hope to get in on the celebration.

We will be back on Tuesday and my parents will drive  us to the airport to spend the night at a hotel at the Orlando airport because of flight leaves so early in the morning.

No luck sea beaning but did find some other interesting things. Just really want to find a hamburger for Stephanie.

We have rented a convertible and should be arriving in less than an hour.

We are both tired and hope to get some good sleep tonight my parents guest bed is a nightmare. It is time to come home and get life back on track. I don’t want to leave the ocean or the sun or vacation with Stephanie and this time in Miami will be like are only time together without anyone else as Bella has been so sweet and followed me everywhere.

I hope tonight is fun and safe and I pray our hotel has a comfortable bed.

So much for worrying about Mania Madness as my mother told me I was in no shape to drive the golf cart today! Hmmm I guess my secret isn’t a secret after all.

I am looking forward to returning home and getting my pug, Julia Bleu. Today makes a week at the kennel and I think she is probably maxed out like I am. I can only take my beautiful parents for so long.

I will try to get pictures tonight although my phone doesn’t take the best pictures. WE need  a good one of Stephanie and I…..time to show her off to the Facebook world. The most important thing to know about Stephanie is that she is my very best friend and her love for me is crazy as is my for her. She and I make the best couple and she is achingly beautiful and brilliant to boot.

Okay, Stephanie needs help with navigation so I will end here and write soon. We are headed for our hotel first before anything and need to take showers and get dressed.

With Much Peace On this Historic Day,



Maniacal Musings-Sunday Night America is NOT Trump’s Trophy!

Got Julia Bleu to the doggy daycare kennel today. Very sad leaving her she has never been without our other pug Jack who passed away or members of my family. We are too close honestly and I will put her into a doggy daycare when I get back from  Florida. However I spent the afternoon all alone and I did of course miss Stephanie who went to her place to pack, but I REALLY missed my Julia Bleu! It was so quiet and there was no excitement and I realized I truly love that little being more than I knew and I hope she is okay these next ten days.

After dropping off Julia Bleu Stephanie and I headed south to Portsmouth to pick up medication and prescription shakes for me for the trip. Stephanie then dropped me off at home and headed to her house to get backed as we get picked up for the airport at 3:30 am tomorrow morning.

I had a lot of time to think while I got everything done that needed to be done for us to leave. I thought about our country and Trump, and how I was not reading news today. I thought about my hand and my tumor and the uncertainty of it all. I am letting my worries go and just going to deal with what I have to when the pathology report returns this week or the top of next week.

I was quiet and deep in my head today. I thought about so many things I have going on and my time with my family and Bella especially. I thought about the scores of people who hate the holidays because they are lonely or have really bad memories. It did really hit me today the holidays aren’t always happy times.

I light a candle of peace every afternoon and today I lit it early and thought hard about all the people who will not be with families or friends for the holiday. I did have myself a good cry, my second in two days, and a real record for me as I am not a crier. Whether it is my own mortality I am feeling or the election chaos, I am feeling a lot more than I usually feel.

I went about my busy this afternoon and I thought about different case scenarios for myself and I finally just stopped and realized nothing is ever final and whatever is my journey I will accept with the grace I have witnessed so many other people deal with problems and remain so graceful and still so thankful. So that is my challenge to myself. To let go, live my life to the fullest, and if I get news I would rather not receive, I have myself and my circle of family and friends and so many other special people that I know will see me through.

I was supposed to buy bandages and tape and all kinds of stuff to change my dressing on my finger today and I couldn’t do it\. I put it all back and I will deal with it in \Florida. I wasn’t helped by my surgeon who said it doesn’t look good we had to remove a lot. That was enough! There is this great Mexican restaurant and I am going to go drink like a fish and then have Stephanie who is a dentist unwrap my hand and reapply all that needs to go back on. Mom won’t be thrilled but I am sorry mom, this is going down my way.

I am feeling better after taking a break from the Trump Tower of Doom. I have no idea if I can really go the day without finding out if the one sane man who could possibly be out to save us all, Mitt Romney is the new Secretary of State. Only person I can stomach in Trump’s swamp with a gushing sewer pipe running into it!

I know I can’t write anything without getting myself listed for something. I am hoping all the noise I am making gets me face time with this monster-if I am going away he will still hear me loud and clear. Now on a serious note, I am looking forward to going to the #NOTMYPRESIDENT protest on Inauguration day and participating in the million women march the following day. Our group has people going and more keep signing up. I just want the emphasis to be on peaceful and with the unknown cowboys of Trump supporters anything could happen. I personally am only going there as a peaceful protester. I just really don’t want to get arrested for what Trump is calling economic terrorism. Honestly what happen to free speech and the ability to peacefully protest?

I am getting tired and Stephanie is saying, “Corey it is time for bed. Is it worse to go to bed to get up at 2 or just stay up all night?

I will do as my fiancé has asked and go rest although sleep will probably elude me.

I am ready to get going tonight honestly, and don’t know why we didn’t fly out this past afternoon.

I will probably cave in and go watch the news because I am a political junkie and can’t stand not knowing the pulse of the nation. I have been offered two positions in Washington that are high profile enough for me and my ego but I have school and that thing called a personal goal and yeah well it is blockading my future pursuits in Washington. I must return to school in the spring when the next semester starts in mid-January. I have been accepted to MIT and I am supposed to start there in the fall.

My how times change. I am thinking right now about HRC and what the heck is that poor woman doing to keep her train from derailing? I think we all have so much to learn from her from. From the costly flaws and missteps to the amazingly gifted thinker and better yet doer that she is…..I have always been part of strategic think tanks and never been a doer. I have added to my bucket list, thanks to HRC, to be a doer and fighter for what I and so many other Americans think is right. I am terribly sad that HRC lost, but didn’t cry about such a loaded topic until yesterday. How different we would all feel. Hell I would take anyone not associated with Trump or Pence without nary a whimper. Surely wouldn’t have been HRC but it would have to be better than what I am looking at.

I said to everyone if Trump wins we are moving to France our mother country. However we can’t abandon this country and all the people who need to be fought for , so no Paris for the Brittons. Bella is thinking about going to be an exchange student as she loves Berlin and would move there in  a second.

We will all settle down and let Trump show his first moves after this hellacious cabinet picking. Sort of like watching the finals of the apprentice I would imagine.

But I will leave you with one thought I have been repeating since I wrote these words yesterday: America is NOT Trump’s trophy. One man can not change the great bones and structure of our country. Try as he will, we will not allow this country to belong to anyone but all the citizenry of this great country. We will disagree but we will not lay over and play dead



Maniacal Musings: Florida Bound and We Have Arrived!

Yesterday Stephanie and I awoke at 2am to get ready to take the bus to the airport in Boston. It seemed like a long journey to finally end up leaving for the flight.

We got out of the house and  made it to the bus terminal. The bus arrived and we got good seats and were heading to the next stop in Portsmouth on our way to the airport in Boston.

We were just getting off the exit to enter the terminal and the bus had to brake because a car cut us off. The brakes failed, the bus swerved and we almost tipped over. Nothing like a little excitement to start the trip. We had to change buses as the bus was damaged and the brakes didn’t work but we made it to the airport and got through TSA and made our way to our terminal.

Our final destination was my parent’s house on a barrier island off the southeast coast of Florida. Our flight was non-stop to Orlando on Jet Blue. My parents would pick us up there and we would drive the rest of the way to where they have a house; Melbourne Beach, Florida.

The airplane trip was uneventful until we landed. We pulled up to the gate and the door to the plane would not open. We were at the gate, stuck on the plane and maintenance had to be called. Nobody was too happy. Finally we got off the plane took the tram at Orlando International and went to baggage claim. We have this system with my parents that we call them on their cell phones when we get to baggage claim and they come out of a space they are parked and know exactly where to pick us up curbside. Problem yesterday is my phone died! I had a portable charger and had to get it out of my suitcase and charge my phone and wait until I had enough power. Stephanie and I just laughed and were happy to leave the just fallen snow in New Hampshire for sun and big waves. Finally my phone was charged so I could call my mother and they were there in five minutes.

The ride home was uneventful. I KNEW my parents wanted to take us out to lunch but I wanted to get to their house and get on the beach. See there is something you don’t know about me; I am a seabeaner. I collect the elusive hamburger seabeans that travel from the West Indies to the shores of Melbourne Beach. Natives and people who have lived here for a long time go there whole lives without ever finding one. My last trip I found 34 which was crazy and the shell shops wanted to buy them off of me. No way, these are magical and not to be sold. I part with very few of them.

I will post a picture of one with this post. I got only an hour on the beach yesterday which is not nearly enough time to find one. My mom has found two in 12 years. The work of a seabeaner is backbreaking and takes a lot of time. I know the path of the seabeaner and I am not interested in shells or anything else. I told everyone yesterday that I only wanted to find one for this entire trip. My mother laughed as did my father and Stephanie because they knew I would be out everyday looking and hunting for these elusive hamburgers.

This morning Stephanie and I were exhausted and got a late start on the beach. My mom decided to join us, and walked ahead of me but knew the path I was going to take. Well didn’t she just find one where I would have been walking. I walk very slowly and it is like heaven for me. I was mad and told her I would have found it. I got over it and not two minutes later I found the most special hamburger that I have ever found. This one means the world to me. Stephanie was so happy and my mom was tired so we headed back. So my secret is out but I will not tell you the path of the seabeaner on the beach.

We came home and Bella and my ex wife are heading here now. We  will be back on the beach for sure and I will look but I am so happy and thankful for this little hamburger.

There will be lots more to write about later.

I am excited to be having our first group chat for Rainbow Nation tonight.

Oh have I mentioned how much I love Stephanie and look forward to over a week left here on the beach?

Hope you are well and hope everyone is getting ready for the holidays. Ha! I did it a post without a mention of politics! Wonders will never cease~



Maniacal Musings Saturday Night Early Sunday Morning part 1

It has been a hard day for me. I am struggling with the new leadership of our country and how it affects me and all my friends and all the minorities targeted by the new president elect.

On top of that, I have a hurting unit today with my hand and finger that was just operated on. I am definitely under the weather and not myself.

Tomorrow is our last day home before we fly out to the southeast coast of Florida on early Monday morning.

Tomorrow is a major running around day. Julia Bleu has to sadly  be brought up to the kennel where she will spend the next ten days in doggy daycare and without me. I feel sad and guilty already.

Then we have to zoom down to Portsmouth way in the opposite way and pick up my prescription shakes and prescriptions I need for the trip.

We still have to find out transportation to the bus at like 3;30 am in the morning on Monday.

I realize I am not doing so great and the elections and the state of the country as well as my precarious health have me way out of whack.

Stephanie and I got everything in order today and made our plans for tomorrow. Our day starts with bringing Julia Bleu to doggy daycare and the kennel at 9;45 am. We are then heading to Portsmouth to the pharmacy before coming home and finishing packing and getting the house in order for our ten day trip.

I hope we will hear from the kennel later tomorrow evening to see how Julia Bleu is making out.

I will not be offline in Florida with Rainbow Nation and my blogging. I can’t take the time off of either and so much remains to be done. Hopefully I will get a account set for Rainbow Nation, I tried to set up a slack account today but it wasn’t working with me. Hopefully I can retry tomorrow and get the group a place that is safe to communicate and share ideas.

Stephanie has been so wonderful today as she always is and made me feel better as did my far away friend who I adore Melissa. Michelle is here for me and I can’t thank her enough for her support on Facebook and the group Rainbow Nation.

I am drinking a new coffee and trying to get into my life without anger or sadness. I am trying to connect with Melissa in Australia and I hope that Stephanie is alright with it, as it isn’t a competition of any sort whatsoever. Stephanie is going to be my fiancé and then my wife very soon and she knows how much I love and who much she means to me. Melissa is an amazing person, that will find her true love when her life is in a better place. I am very happy that I told Melissa and that she is cool with Stephanie.

Stephanie and I are going to bed early tonight to be able to get out and get everything done and get back home and finish things up here.

I woke up at 4:10 am and thought we were supposed to be at the bus station to go to Boston. I freaked out for like 5 minutes until I realized it was only Sunday. Awful when your mind plays tricks on you and with the fire burning so brilliantly in my head it is twice as unfair to have my mind play tricks on me.

I am going to pick up my new Adderall script today and just sit on it, as it isn’t doing anything to quell the fire in my brain. The other day on Tuesday, the hospital called to do a phone interview with me around 3:00 pm, I had just taken my third Adderall and the lady who was a nurse was so frustrated at me for talking so quickly and moving from one subject to another. Finally she came out and said, could you please slow down, I can’t type as fast as you talk. I was like “Sorry, yeah I just took my third Adderall and it is not working for me.

The fire in my mind dulled a bit the day of surgery with all the drugs they gave me and I didn’t take all my Adderall that day and felt pretty low key which was perfect.

However, by night time the fire was solidly back and Stephanie was trying really hard to keep up with me. She would never tell me I was speaking too fast unless I asked her. I knew I was and I didn’t want to take another Adderall so I just tried to keep quiet.

Tonight after my tears on and off this afternoon I feel better and less like a victim I was feeling like and now much more like an Angel Warrior.

I know I don’t have the entire classification of angels down and it has been said to me I am a Royal Angel who needs protection. That can’t be the case because too many people need my help and need my strength and determination to fight Trump and his people. I loathe that it has come down to us versus them and that it is a war. I wanted things to be friendly and filled with love and peaceful but Trump has picked his top soldiers and they can be battled not through love and peace but with real time war and distain.

I pray that in January on inauguration day and then the million women march the next day, things stay calm and peaceful but I somehow doubt it if Trump supporters are there too. If it was just the people who oppose Trump I am pretty sure it would be peaceful demonstrations and a big beautiful march.

It won’t be the case with Trump supporters and anti-Trump protestors are not feeling the love or the peace not to meet the Trump supporters at their lowly level of behavior. I personally will not get involved with that but it doesn’t mean I won’t get caught in the cross fire.

I am happy that my tears have dried up and right now I feel peaceful because I have yet to read the inciting news on Trump. My one hope is that Mitt Romney joins Trump’s cabinet as the only sane person in it who I don’t particularly like but I know and believe he is a good person and would be great as Secretary of State.

I am going to finish my master list of politicians and phone numbers the members of Rainbow Nation need to call directly and voice their concerns as we will follow up with letters as well.

I wish everyone a wonderful Sunday and I will be blogging as I will be in Florida for ten days but not offline. Times are too tough and scary for me to unplug completely.

Peace Out!



Rainbow Nation-These Days are Not Easy



I confess today that these days post election are not easy ones. As the reality of what a Trump election and Presidential cabinet looks like and  takes form I was driven to tears today by a song that I knew very well but its lyrics struck me so differently today.

The song is Ooh-Child and we are adopting it as Rainbow Nation’s theme song. I listened to the song that a member posted and the tears just ran down my face.

As my friend and co-founder of Rainbow Nation, Michelle Candela, said we are starting to have to really face the facts that people we thought we were friends with voted for a man who has every intention of ruining any rights already established for the LGBTQIA community as well as the transgender community who is without rights and anti-discrimination protection.

Also, real talks by Trump and his cabinet and the people who voted for him about establishing a Muslim registry are just not okay, and I can’t pretend it doesn’t matter that friends I thought loved me and so many of the citizenry voted for this man who is not a nice or good man and will hurt me and my friends and family with his sweeping pen to take away all of our rights and set us back a good 20 to 30 years.

I want to know who voted for Trump, because you aren’t my friend if you support what he intends to accomplish in his presidency. Go ahead and make your Muslin registry and LGBTQIA registry where Pence states we can be fixed with electro-shock therapy and oh by the way Climate change is made up and not real. So let’s open up the coal mines because it doesn’t affect the environment at all!

I never asked for anyone to like me, or my friends that are transgender, or Muslin or any other minority that Trump has singled out; I ask for rights of equality and anti-discrimination laws for all. You don’t have to agree with me or any other targeted minority but this WAS America and we were all guaranteed rights and freedoms under the constitution and Bill of Rights. SCOTUS just in 20015 moved marriage equality forward, and now with Trump getting to chose the new justices not only is Marriage equality at risk, Roe V Wade is also at risk. Personally I won’t have an abortion BUT never would I want women to lose their rights to chose what to do with their own bodies.

I think people missed something here that Trump created. Before you might not have agreed with me, or my friends, or Muslims or other minorities but you were okay with the government pushing forward with equality for all, and Trump has turned this around to a zero sum game. It is a game that he used HATE and other methods to turn people who were okay with things into my enemies now, people who hate me and my friends and other minorities,

Let us not forget that Hillary Clinton won the popular vote by over a million votes! Who did the people elect? HILLARY! The antiquated electoral college elected Trump not the people.

I don’t care about being nice to everyone. There are some of you that have really hurt me, my friends and countless other minorities that now we must fight back to gain our rights and protections from discrimination.

I have fought since the electoral college claimed Trump’s victory that we could all get along, we needed to keep the peace. Well now almost two weeks into this circus and Trump has shown clearly with his cabinet selections and other selections that is not doable and this is a fight we all need to partake in.

It is not okay, Trump is not okay, and Hating of any sort is not okay and not what the United States of America stands for! Lots of us planned to move abroad if Trump won by some impossible way but NOW we must not abandon our country and our fellow friends and Americans who need us to stay and fight and organize for them.

My tears will dry up in a day or two, I know I am journeying through the stages of grief, and when my tears dry up I promise you and all the minorities that are scared just like me I will fight, and I will be heard. I know you might be laughing or think whatever, well this hurricane with a little bit of sunshine is coming with as many people as we can get to Washington DC on January 20 and 21st to protest and march in the million women march.

Lists? Yeah I know I am already a target on social media. I don’t care I will not be afraid. My friends can count on me because unlike all those upper class white women who voted for Trump my place in this country is not what I put before equality and protection for all people no matter what that means for me or anyone else!

You all who voted for Trump will get what you deserve, and the rest of us will fight so that you if you are a minority or woman, you will get the protection and equality that is already yours.

Hillary didn’t die, and Bernie and Elizabeth Warren are still here, and we will not let one man think this is HIS country. America is not Trump’s newest trophy!! I hope he fucking hears me loud and clear.

Corey Britton