Maniacal Musings Friday November 18, 2016

I awoke this morning at 1:20 am and called my homeless friend Eugene to see if he wanted to meet me at the store and come over to eat. He told me he was already at the store and I told him that Julia Bleu and I would be there in 10 minutes.

We walked over to the store, but before leaving I woke up Stephanie to let her know that Eugene was probably coming over to eat. Then I attached Julia Bleu’s leash which is like a game for her and very frustrating for me. We finally headed out and I was really looking forward to my coffee.

Once we got in sight of the store I could see Eugene with some of his friends. He walked towards me and said hello and petted Julia Bleu and we all headed into the store, I went to make my coffee and Eugene went to get the food and drinks he wanted. We finally met up at the register and I paid for everything. Eugene opened up the door for Julia Bleu and myself and we headed towards my street and house.

Stephanie greeted us at the front door with her bath robe on and Eugene’s face lit up when he saw Stephanie. She grabbed his bags as we headed up to the first level and into the kitchen and Stephanie started preparing Eugene’s food to heat up. He had bought 5 cans of pasta and usually only bought three so Stephanie asked him how many he wanted heated up? He responded, “Please heat up all 5 cans I will be heading to Portsmouth today and I know you are leaving on Monday for Florida. I hadn’t given it any thought but Eugene would be on his own the entire time we were away. I thought that perhaps I should break my vow and give him money but I wanted to speak to Stephanie privately before I did. I asked Stephanie to come into the study for a minute where I quickly told her about wanting to give Eugene money. She didn’t agree with me and said instead of that go back to the store and let him pick out some extra food. He could keep it on our porch if he didn’t want to tote it around with him everyday. I agreed with Stephanie and we hurried back out to the kitchen with Eugene.

Stephanie plated his pasta and Eugene was working on a milk to drink so he was good for a few minutes. I went into my study and took out a hundred dollars to spend on Eugene when he headed back. He asked me about my finger and I told him it was a tumor and we were waiting for the pathology reports to come back in 10 days. He seemed very concerned and asked if I was in a lot of pain. I told him I was in a lot of pain but expected this to be the hardest day, as bruising was showing in the palm of my hand and on the top where the bandage ended at the base of my finger. I told him I believed the bruising was caused by all the shots they pumped into me to numb up my fingers as I was put to sleep with the super awesome drug Propanol that unfortunately killed Michael Jackson. It totally knocked me out and I was blissed out once I woke up. I kept falling back to sleep in recovery and they finally brought me back to my room.

Eugene asked how long I had the growth and I told him it appeared almost two years ago but was much smaller and I had showed my primary care many times and they never did anything about it, When I saw the hand surgeon in August for my smashed thumb he said it was just a cyst and tried to aspirate it with a 7 inch needle after like ten shots of Novocain . He put the needle in it and then squeezed with all his might trying to get clear liquid to come out. Nope wasn’t happening so then when I got my cast off six weeks later I showed it to him again as it had changed and grown quite a bit and this time. He said I needed surgery to remove what he believed was a ganglion cyst. After operating yesterday he said it wasn’t a ganglion cyst and said it was a tumor of some sort. Eugene asked if I was going to be alright and I said, “I guess so. We have to wait for the pathology report to come back in 10 days.”

Eugene was visibly concerned and finished his 5 cans of pasta. He dug into his bag and started to eat a cherry pie. Stephanie was so nice and offered to heat it up and asked him if he wanted some ice cream with it. Eugene was all over that and Stephanie put it all together in a matter of a few minutes. I so love her and her kindness for people she cares about. She can be very quiet and not the Stephanie I know when she is around a person or people she isn’t comfortable with. Eugene has a soft spot in her heart.

I mentioned to Eugene while he finished his pie that I would walk him back to the store to buy some food for when I was away. His eyes got moist and he said, “Thank you very much.” I told him he could leave the extra food on my safe porch if he didn’t want to carry all the extra food around. He said since he didn’t know where he would be he would take it with him. Thankfully the pasta he liked had pop off tops so although he wouldn’t be able to heat it up he could open the cans very easily.

Eugene said he had to get going and asked to use the bathroom. I told him sure and that I would walk back to the store with him to get some extra food. He said, “Thank you very much.” He then headed off to use the bathroom. I asked Stephanie how much I should spend on Eugene and she said it shouldn’t be a problem as Eugene was always careful when I was buying him stuff.

Eugene re-entered the kitchen and said Good bye to Stephanie and thanked her for heating  up  his food. He said, “That pie and ice cream really hit the spot!” I said okay let’s go to the store and I told Stephanie I would be back but I was leaving Julia Bleu with her this time. She gave me a kiss and a hug and helped me get my ski jacket on.

Eugene and I headed back to the store and I told him to get some stuff since I would not be around until November 30th. He said, “Thank you, and took a basket with him to put his food into. I thought he might be nervous with me leaving for ten days, and I thought about the plight of the homeless people and how awful their living situation is especially in the North East where the temperatures are getting colder every day. Eugene finally appeared with a basketful of food, and I asked him, “Are you sure you got enough to eat?” He said, “Corey you are so kind and generous and this is plenty. I need to get to Portsmouth to get into some of the soup kitchens there. We got in line and I asked the clerk to double bag all of Eugene’s stuff. We got it all packed up and I paid and he thanked me again. I said, “Stop it, it is the least I can do for you!” We went outside and it was cold for sure, and I put his bags I was carrying near his carts he pushed around. He loaded all the food into the carts and out of the blue he hugged me tight and said, “Thank you Corey, you are a very kind person.” I told him, “I am more than happy to help you and I will plan on seeing you  in the early hours of December 1st.” He said okay and I headed home, worried about Eugene and praying he would get into Crossroads the big homeless shelter in Portsmouth.

Once home, I found Stephanie wrapped up in a fleece blanket in my study. I was sure she would go back to bed. She said, “Corey, what you do for Eugene is remarkable and more so because you don’t tell anyone you do what you do. I am so in love with you Corey Britton and I am in awe of your kindness and generosity with Eugene. I want to give you some money for Eugene and I won’t take no for an answer.” I said, “Stephanie you needn’t give me money honestly I am so happy you allow and support my friendship with Eugene. I know you really care about him too and that makes me so happy. If you feel strongly about the money fine, but I will let Eugene know the food and phone and phone minutes is from both of us.”  She signaled for me to sit with her, and I told her she needed to go back to bed, and I would snuggle her until she fell asleep. She asked me how I was doing about my surgery and pain in my hand and finger. I told her, “I think today will be the worst,”  I mentioned the outcome was out of my hands, and today I couldn’t get down or be scared when in reality I had no idea what I was dealing with. She opened her arms and I just snuggled right into her. We stayed like that for awhile until I could see she was falling asleep. I said, “Sweetie let’s go back to bed and I will lay with you until you fall asleep” She was fine with that and we made our way to the guest room and immediately snuggled up to one another and she closed her eyes. She was out in a flash. I laid with her for awhile and then headed out to my study to take my Adderall with my coffee.

I wanted to blog about my feelings I am wrestling with in relationship to my hand and my finger. I know from my past experience with having a tumor which turned out to be benign that the odds are in my favor. However, I know this has caused me to think about my life and what little time we all have here. I wanted to write about my determination to not let the next 10 days of uncertainty drag me down or scare me, and that whatever the result, I know with the people who love and care about me I am not alone. I can’t ask for more than that. My finger and hand are really sore today and as I mentioned I think this will be the hardest day of them all. I am going to get my suitcase downstairs and start packing and I must go to the pharmacy on Sunday to pick up my prescriptions and also get Julia Blue all packed for her stay at the kennel. I need to call the vet today and get her records faxed to the kennel. I already called my doctor about my prescriptions and hopefully everything will get called in so it is all ready by Sunday for pick up.

I am worried of course about my hand and finger and I am praying to my God and the Holy Trinity and hope no matter what the outcome I will be strong and determined to fight what might lay in front of me.

I am going to blog about my Mania Madness later as it crazy out of control and I honestly couldn’t be happier that I am still dealing with the fire in my mind and in my body.

Today, I will work on my blogs, work on my new group Rainbow Nation, and make forward progress with my packing for me and for Julia Bleu.

I will be blogging from Florida and posting all kinds of pictures. I am bummed that I won’t be able to surf but watching Bella brings me lots of joy and happiness.

I hope this Friday all my readers have a super day and slide into the weekend where we are just days  away from Thanksgiving and the start of the holiday season. A big shout out of thanks and gratitude to my beautiful friend Michelle. I am so fortunate to have her in my life and I look forward to the work we are going to do for Rainbow Nation.