Happily Ever After-Do NOT Rush It!

It is Wednesday afternoon and I am completing a scenario of “Forever After.”  It didn’t work out for me the first time.  I was married to my best friend for 10 years, and they were the happiest of times.  I had no idea my marriage wasn’t working, see I had never been in any real relationship before.

I thought it was show up, be true, and honest, however it is so much more.  My counselor told me that in every relationship there is a gardener and a flower.  Somehow I was always the flower, although I treated my ex-wife well and put her on the pedestal she belonged on.  I had no idea that I wasn’t a full partner, and when I did realize it, it was too late.

Getting divorced was the hardest thing I have ever done, and now I am looking at marriage again. Her name is Stephanie, and she is my best friend, she replaced my bff Angie long ago, it was just meant to me……Stephanie and I.

I would describe Stephanie, first by her insides she is the consummate best friend in the world.  Nothing has ever come between us, and I have pulled lots of things that would have sent many girls packing long ago.  Stephanie is 36 years old, and the hottest dentist around for sure, yes I do know this to be true.  None of the other dentists come close. She is achingly beautiful and so very smart and loving, and she wants to spend her life with me.

How could I then propose marriage is an institution of mere convenience? I think it is so true, couples get married all the time, to share in financial, emotional well being, and just the needs of not being alone. I know married couples who never see each other, but come Saturday night they are all ready to have a great time together. The whole scenario just makes me laugh, it is really ridiculous that some couples tie the knot and say I do (at least for right now).

I am a die-hard romantic, who has only loved two people in my entire life. My ex-wife, and now Stephanie. Her outlook on marriage is so refreshing, right out of a fairytale but so am I- so we are great together.

Too many professionals are doing it all backwards….waiting too long in life to get a significant other, than you need to get married before you have kids, well usually that is the way that it works, but fewer and fewer couples are having children these days.  Seems like the population is going to go down in the States, not including immigrants.

So why even get married? Chances are slim you make it the first time around.  Chances are better for second timers, or people over the age of 35…..that’s us. We are not rushing into anything, we are going to have a great summer and get engaged, so we can live together in front of my daughter. Both of us are die-hard romantics, Katy Perry’s Teenage Dream is one of our songs.

If I was graduating from graduate school I would definitely live solo, for sure. I have loved the time I have had alone  I now have a big place so we all have are own space to call our own. Don’t rush in to putting your finances together with anyone.  Marry somebody, you marry their debt, unless you have a pre-nup. I have my retirement when I was a trader, but it was all made before either of my wives.

Enough yourself, find the right fit of people, and don’t ever settle because the right one will come, I guarantee you that, and what a shame if you already settled.  Take it from me, most people suck at marriage and commitment, so don’t be in a rush to sell  yourself short. Tonight I will blog, about being a nomadic poet, which I highly recommend.  Until stay free as a bird, be careful you never know what you are getting. Lastly, stick to friends of friends!