Maniacal Musings Saturday Night Early Sunday Morning part 1

It has been a hard day for me. I am struggling with the new leadership of our country and how it affects me and all my friends and all the minorities targeted by the new president elect.

On top of that, I have a hurting unit today with my hand and finger that was just operated on. I am definitely under the weather and not myself.

Tomorrow is our last day home before we fly out to the southeast coast of Florida on early Monday morning.

Tomorrow is a major running around day. Julia Bleu has to sadly  be brought up to the kennel where she will spend the next ten days in doggy daycare and without me. I feel sad and guilty already.

Then we have to zoom down to Portsmouth way in the opposite way and pick up my prescription shakes and prescriptions I need for the trip.

We still have to find out transportation to the bus at like 3;30 am in the morning on Monday.

I realize I am not doing so great and the elections and the state of the country as well as my precarious health have me way out of whack.

Stephanie and I got everything in order today and made our plans for tomorrow. Our day starts with bringing Julia Bleu to doggy daycare and the kennel at 9;45 am. We are then heading to Portsmouth to the pharmacy before coming home and finishing packing and getting the house in order for our ten day trip.

I hope we will hear from the kennel later tomorrow evening to see how Julia Bleu is making out.

I will not be offline in Florida with Rainbow Nation and my blogging. I can’t take the time off of either and so much remains to be done. Hopefully I will get a account set for Rainbow Nation, I tried to set up a slack account today but it wasn’t working with me. Hopefully I can retry tomorrow and get the group a place that is safe to communicate and share ideas.

Stephanie has been so wonderful today as she always is and made me feel better as did my far away friend who I adore Melissa. Michelle is here for me and I can’t thank her enough for her support on Facebook and the group Rainbow Nation.

I am drinking a new coffee and trying to get into my life without anger or sadness. I am trying to connect with Melissa in Australia and I hope that Stephanie is alright with it, as it isn’t a competition of any sort whatsoever. Stephanie is going to be my fiancé and then my wife very soon and she knows how much I love and who much she means to me. Melissa is an amazing person, that will find her true love when her life is in a better place. I am very happy that I told Melissa and that she is cool with Stephanie.

Stephanie and I are going to bed early tonight to be able to get out and get everything done and get back home and finish things up here.

I woke up at 4:10 am and thought we were supposed to be at the bus station to go to Boston. I freaked out for like 5 minutes until I realized it was only Sunday. Awful when your mind plays tricks on you and with the fire burning so brilliantly in my head it is twice as unfair to have my mind play tricks on me.

I am going to pick up my new Adderall script today and just sit on it, as it isn’t doing anything to quell the fire in my brain. The other day on Tuesday, the hospital called to do a phone interview with me around 3:00 pm, I had just taken my third Adderall and the lady who was a nurse was so frustrated at me for talking so quickly and moving from one subject to another. Finally she came out and said, could you please slow down, I can’t type as fast as you talk. I was like “Sorry, yeah I just took my third Adderall and it is not working for me.

The fire in my mind dulled a bit the day of surgery with all the drugs they gave me and I didn’t take all my Adderall that day and felt pretty low key which was perfect.

However, by night time the fire was solidly back and Stephanie was trying really hard to keep up with me. She would never tell me I was speaking too fast unless I asked her. I knew I was and I didn’t want to take another Adderall so I just tried to keep quiet.

Tonight after my tears on and off this afternoon I feel better and less like a victim I was feeling like and now much more like an Angel Warrior.

I know I don’t have the entire classification of angels down and it has been said to me I am a Royal Angel who needs protection. That can’t be the case because too many people need my help and need my strength and determination to fight Trump and his people. I loathe that it has come down to us versus them and that it is a war. I wanted things to be friendly and filled with love and peaceful but Trump has picked his top soldiers and they can be battled not through love and peace but with real time war and distain.

I pray that in January on inauguration day and then the million women march the next day, things stay calm and peaceful but I somehow doubt it if Trump supporters are there too. If it was just the people who oppose Trump I am pretty sure it would be peaceful demonstrations and a big beautiful march.

It won’t be the case with Trump supporters and anti-Trump protestors are not feeling the love or the peace not to meet the Trump supporters at their lowly level of behavior. I personally will not get involved with that but it doesn’t mean I won’t get caught in the cross fire.

I am happy that my tears have dried up and right now I feel peaceful because I have yet to read the inciting news on Trump. My one hope is that Mitt Romney joins Trump’s cabinet as the only sane person in it who I don’t particularly like but I know and believe he is a good person and would be great as Secretary of State.

I am going to finish my master list of politicians and phone numbers the members of Rainbow Nation need to call directly and voice their concerns as we will follow up with letters as well.

I wish everyone a wonderful Sunday and I will be blogging as I will be in Florida for ten days but not offline. Times are too tough and scary for me to unplug completely.

Peace Out!