Just a Phase…..

Lately I have been forgoing a bit of the maniac’s hours.  I am not sure why, I just seem to be getting  up a tich later, and that sweeps my entire day sideways.  I haven’t been staying up late, or more manic than other times, in fact maybe I am not so manic?

I really should go talk to my doctor about this and my lack of mania I feel I am experiencing. Like I am going to go to the doctors and he is going to say no you are still experiencing mania at the same level.  Maybe because I have been taking my three Adderall it is helping me?  I am not sure I like it, yes I am sleeping a little bit more, but is that worth losing the mania over?

I have only really noticed it this week in particular, so I will keep a better watch on things regarding my energy levels and my accomplishments, which seem tied to one another.  I might need to take a day off from writing, I just wrote one hundred  posts in less than a month.  I think I am tired of writing and thinking, and my new programming class is calling me.

So what happens to mania? Does it just fade? I know people with bipolar cycle back through depression, and that certainly isn’t me.  I wonder if it will come back stronger, I don’t recall a time when I thought it had waned.  I just took an Adderall see if that wont help me even myself out. I don’t want to lose my spunk, my amps, my Bam and my bang! I love being amped up I know it is crazy to say, but it is what I have known my entire life.

Today I am really going to monitor it, see if I feel logey or tired.  I have never felt these things before, except when I haven’t slept in days. May be I am getting too much sleep? I have been trying to work my sleeping schedule out! Trying to go to bed just a little earlier, in hopes of getting just a bit more rest. But the maniac’s  hours are my time, to drink my golden elixir and get some serious work done, maybe I should set my alarm clock for 12;30 am just to make sure I am awake, from 1-6 am.  Maybe that is why writing has been so much harder for me…..I am not primed for the maniac’s hours, and then my work blows over until later in the day. I am not at my best at that point, it has got to be maniac’s hours. Tonight I will fix it with my alarm clock, although I feel like there is something wrong with me.  I never had to set the alarm clock before, and it is an awful way of waking up for me by all accounts….I really cant speak for a couple of hours.

I just took my Adderall I have been on pain pills for my leg operations and I think they are interfering with my sleep and the effects of Adderall. I am going to stop taking them today. I was only taking them when I  went to bed, so I could get some sleep. Well so glad we got this mania vanishing act resolved, Corey wouldn’t be the same, without that extra amped up Bam! Bang! attitude.

I got to get my groove on, today is my ex-wife’s birthday. We are going out to celebrate, yes I got the gift card to her hair colorist, he is in my speed dial.  Norm is his name, and he knows why I call when I do. Time for a gift certificate, of which my ex-wife really likes. She doesn’t like stuff bought for her, she can go and just buy whatever she wants….but it is her birthday and we shall celebrate, 4 years after the divorce.

I will be so happy to stay on track, and hope these pain pills don’t affect me for the day. I will keep a journal or a log, of my energy and mood.  When my energy gets low, I get quiet and everyone panics, because for the rest of time, I don’t shut up unless it is church. I am proud as punch I solved my medicinal problems, without going to the doctor.  Why is when you go to the doctor, they upend everything that has worked before, just because something is causing it to not work as efficaciously. I will call the pharmacist and confirm that I am right on the pain medication.  Of  all the drugs out there, pain pills are not my friends. They are the best friends of a couple of people I know, and I just don’t understand it. Feeling all woozey and out of it, wanting to sleep but you can’t, I will take my mania and keep my pain, thank you very much!