Being just days away from my first of three surgeries and having Mania Madness is like navigating the Twilight Zone.
Mania Madness brings my brain from already high-octane to jet engine fuel and the line between genius and madness gets blurry.
It is Stephanie’s first time experiencing Mania Madness with me as her soon to be fiancé. I have in the past tried to really keep it to myself. It isn’t something I share or feel comfortable about with my friends.
It is crazy at its least and Madness at its peak. Right now I am definitely in the Madness zone. I can’t sleep or relax and I still haven’t found something to make me hyper-focus.
I was hoping WordPress’s photography challenge today would do it, but they are late getting the prompt out.
I hope there is one today I am filled with creative energy and have even thought about working on the lines and stripes I am designing in the bathroom on the first floor.
Obviously it is a crazy idea to think about painting the bathroom, even just the design painting with two injured legs and a arm in a cast. But right now that is my brain. I thought about going to campus about taking that one course but I don’t know if I can contain my Mania for the school officials. I would probably be better served going on Monday early morning when the Mania isn’t as bad and I have been up all night.
Stephanie I think is concerned she is going to come home and find out I took a flight to NYC for the weekend. She has texted me a couple of times which is not her MO. I hope I am not making her nervous or skittish about me.
I am just over the top with energy and thoughts that might seem usually unreasonable well they are pretty reasonable today. Maybe we can fly to NYC tonight together.
I think I am on to something big in my relationship and with myself. Usually I would do something like that alone and I think as long as I include Stephanie in my Madness she will be fine.
I mean she loves me to death, and I think just fears me going off and doing my own thing which could mean many things. I just texted her about NYC. She will be happy I included her.
This is all new to me being in a committed relationship again. It has been years and I have flown solo with the exception of my pug for 5 years.
Stephanie is so perfect for me as my girl and fiancé and I don’t want anything like my Mania Madness to get in our way. Hopefully she will respond soon.
I am thinking and thinking about what I can do positively with my bountiful energy and my mind that is in over drive.
I think working on my anorexia posts makes sense since the writing is involved and I have to use my journals a lot to get the story accurate.
I will plan on the photography challenge and then dive into my anorexia story. I guess I should probably eat a yogurt as all I have had is strawberry milk today.
The scale is taking a nose dive but there isn’t much I can do about that. With Mania Madness I lose all of my appetite. It really stinks.
Oh I am so pissed I was counting on doing the WordPress photography challenge and it appears there isn’t one today.
I decided to really try to rein in this Mania Madness I called in refills on my two sleep medications. For me and Stephanie. I think if tonight being Friday I actually get some rest and stay in bed with Stephanie it would be a good thing. Sometimes the sleep medication is enough of a jolt to my system that the Mania Madness dissipates.
I am so bummed about no photography challenge I was heading out with my phone and my walker to capture the perfect shot. I should still go take random shots, the photography pros all used photos they took at different times and match the prompt.
I guess it is a new mindset I could get into…..capturing pictures wherever I go. Sort of like what I do and how I am always writing on anything I can find!
I need to see if Julia Bleu can walk with me on the walker. I think we should probably wait for Stephanie and practice in my driveway. That could really not be funny without help!
So I guess I have an afternoon to go shoot random photos and get a ride to the pharmacy to get my sleeping medications. Stephanie will be so happy. They are just regular prescription sleeping pills but they knock me out into tomorrow. I don’t know if I have ever taken them when I have known Stephanie. We certainly weren’t sleeping together!
So it is 3 pm and I feel like a dork waiting this entire time for the photography challenge.
I am excited only two more hours and Stephanie is home-early night on Fridays for her at the practice.
We will probably go out for drinks and appetizers and then come home and watch the final episode of Braindead. It just ended this week on CBS, we watch it through Amazon Prime Video. It was free which is pretty good as Netflix’s doesn’t carry it.
I should round up a ride to the pharmacy in a little bit and be all settled at home when Stephanie gets here.
This weekend is wide open I don’t know when I am getting my daughter or seeing her so need to speak to my ex wife. I am really proud of myself for being with it enough to call in my sleeping medication. It will make the weekend better for everyone if I get sleep. The last thing I need is to go on a bender of no sleep which is intoxicating at first but would land me right in the hospital and totally screw up my plans with surgery on Tuesday morning.
I haven’t a clue what is up for the weekend and that is a great feeling-having a wide open weekend. Usually my daughter has something we have to do so this is a real treat. Speaking of my daughter she won Class President on Wednesday, the fourth year in a row. That’s my girl going up against the boys and kicking ass with her speech. Very proud of her!
Well I have got to finish the anorexia story and get cleaned up and find a ride to the pharmacy.
Hope everyone is doing the Friday slide into the weekend and is AMPED for the weekend. I know I am and I haven’t a clue as to what I am doing! Take tonight for starters, and figure the rest out with my girl.
-Corey
BORN THIS WAY-2016
Coreys Universe 